The Two Towers of DOOM
by The Author of DOOM
Summary: Emma Auckland never found out whatever happened to her friend Sarah Jones. Two months later, Emma knows exactly what happened when she ends up with two Hobbits in some cold foggy mountains. Can Emma get Frodo and Sam there and back again?
1. The Trailer of DOOM

**Trailer**

***Ominous Music***

My name is Emma Auckland and you'd never believe what happened to me. The majority of people go home after finishing their Christmas shopping or go to a friends house or go out to dinner. Then again the majority of people don't end up on a road trip with two hobbits off to a giant volcano.

It all started two months ago when my friend Sarah Jones went missing, it was all over the news. Her parents dropped her off two months ago at school, with her Argyll bag pack and then she disappeared. No one knew what happened to her.

**Thunder Clap**

Now I do.

_**Coming Soon**_

The Merlin Lord of the Rings Crossover of DOOM: The Two Towers


	2. The First Chapter of DOOM

**Author's Note: Hello, everyone and welcome to the two towers! Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last one, your reviews made the story keep on going. This chapter is also dedicated to my friend Emma, who helped proof read and help correct my spelling. So, enjoy everyone and please review. :D**

* * *

Uther sat in his regal chair with his head bowed looking sad but in a noble king like fashion with light of the setting sun shining behind his dark throne. His son had been gone for over two months and he was afraid Arthur would never come back. Curse those lunatics who had taken Arthur! What was he to do now; there was no heir to the throne. He had sent everyone he could spare to search for him but to no avail. He put his head in his hands but then jumped as the giant epic door to the throne room opened to reveal the fabulous Sir Leon.

" Sire" Leon said in his most knightly voice.

"What is it Sir Leon? Is there any progress in the search?"

"No, Sire but a message was found in the outlying villages." He said.

"The outlying villages?" Uther said disbelieving, because nothing interesting ever happened out in the outlying villages.

"Yes, Sire." Leon handed the King of Camelot the white envelope.

Uther recognized it from the first letter he received from when Arthur was first taken. He quickly took it from Sir Leon. Was it a ransom price for Arthur? He tore the red seal off and began to read.

**_Dear Mr. King Uther Pendragon,_**

**_ Were terribly sorry about the long amount of time dear old Arthur and his adorable servant Merlin have been gone. We were planning to get them back to you as were only pulling a prank on our fellow time Ordinance, as are previous letter states. However there was a slight problem with bringing them back as somehow they've been caught in the time stream of temporal events along with the " fangirl" we sent with them and will shortly be permanently stuck in Middle-Earth. Not to worry! We shall fix this and send another "fangirl" to counter balance the events changed. You'll get your son back along with his manservant in about 3 more months._**

**_Sincerely, the members of the section B; UGA ALPHA 9964._**

Uther felt his anger rising and he crumpled the letter into a ball. "AHHHHHHHHH!"

"AAAAANNNND its gonna be another beautiful day in the sunshine state with temperatures hanging around 67 degrees. It'll also be a wonderful day to get shopping done with sales all over. Isn't that right, Bill?" came the voice of an exuberant American from a crackling speaker.

"Most definitely, don't forget to head on over to the Falls shopping mall and check out those sales. Also, don't miss the two new stores opening up: Flip Flop Shoes and Treats."

"Alright, So now lets put on a song because it's going to be another great December day in Florida!"

The sun blazed down on the black tarmac of a highway, which a silver dodge neon then whizzed over. The sun glinted on the hood and two teenagers were chatting inside the steely awesome car. The girl was at the wheel with sunglasses on and the boy was slumped against the seat, deep in thought.

"What about jewelry. A gold Necklace, I've no idea what she wants." the boy said in defeat.

"Oliver, How on earth are we going to afford a gold necklaces for her. It's not practical and we don't have the money between us." The girl said as she turned off the highway.

"I know, but what else is there." he said randomly looking at the buttons on the door.

"How about some candles? She likes those, you know, the tropical scented kind."

"Alright, that'll work Emma."

"Come on, cheer up Oliver, we'll get the best presents for everyone." Emma said sure.

The silver car pulled into a parking lot with a giant sign labeled "The Falls"

"Hey look at that! Barnes and Noble is actually giving away books!" Oliver exclaimed happily.

"No, its another one of those buy 4 get one free things." Emma sighed.

"Still, We should probably check back later, might be fun." Oliver said, trying to convince his sister to take him to the bookstore so he could buy the new Tsubasa comic.

"Actually, why don't you head on over to Bed Bath and Beyond to grab those candles. I'll look in here for a present for Dad."

Oliver sighed but obeyed, he would probably get it for Christmas anyways.

"We'll meet back here, don't go wander off and get lost." Emma then turned and went into the ginormous bookstore. She had a cunning plan, while her brother went off to get her sisters gift, she could get his. Double gift score!

She pushed the door open and smiled as she entered the store full of paperbacks and hard backs and other types of bound reading materials. Right, what to get him? Hmmm...

She looked around at the new releases for inspiration. Vampire novels, some strange thing about the environment, Obama's biography, and...

Emma frowned a bit. "The Mystery of the Sarah Jones Kidnapping: The things the government didn't want to tell you." It had happened several months ago but Emma felt sad for the loss of her friend she had met at camp in the summer. She was a nice kid from Georgia; well apparently she was raised in California. She remembered her crazy friend insistently telling her that she didn't have a southern twang.

_"None! None at all! I have a general American accent!"_

_"Alright! I believe you." Emma laughed._

_"You should." Sarah smiled. _

Well, she would get back to that it was Christmas and she had to find Oliver a present. She walked down into the Sci-Fi Fantasy section, must be something in here. A brand new edition of the Lord of the Rings caught her eye; it was a huge volume containing all the books. Emma loved Tolkien's books, so she slid it off the shelf to have a look at it. Hopefully there'd be some nice illustrations in there. She hoisted it into her arms, it was heavy. Heavier then it looked, was there iron in the covers? She shook her head and opened up to a picture of Frodo and Sam walking through Emyn Muil with their cloaks drawn around them. 'Poor Hobbits' she thought to herself.

**BOOM CRACK**

Emma jumped nearly out of her skin. What the hell was that? Thunder, funny the forecast never said anything about a storm. She had better go get Oliver before they had to run through the rain to get to the car and driving on the highway wasn't pleasant in storms. She turned back to the book and realized for some reason it was glowing. She stared at it and then at the person next to her.

"Merry Christmas!" They said cheerfully and walked off.

"Um, Merry Christmas." Did he not see the clearly glowing book in her arms? Then the world started to spin and she swayed on the spot.

'What's happening?' She thought to herself. Then the book glowed even more and then a white flash of life burst out of it. Then everything went black.

* * *

It was an ordinary epic pan shot of New Zealand Mountains that starts off our story. However this was interrupted by some high pitch yells and then somehow a camera magically floated into a mountain. No one knows, theirs a rumor about some place called weta digital using "Special Effects" to do this.

"The dark fire will not avail you! Flame of Udun!" yelled Gandalf.

Crack!

"YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"

"Ragh!" said the Balrog but what he really meant was this "You wanna bet?"

Then the old man broke the bridge and the Balrog fell.

"RAHHHHH" which translates to. "Dang it! I hate you old geezer!"

Then he got revenge by using his magical fire whip to pull the old man with him.

"AHHGGGRAGGHH" translation "MUHAHAHA!"

The Balrog and Gandalf then fell down a giant hole into some water.

"GANNNDALLF!" Frodo yelled, clearly being scared of the water. After all hobbits can't swim.

"What is it Mr. Frodo?" Sam said concerned after waking up from a dream about cake.

"Nothing, Just a Dream." Frodo then went back to sleep.

The next day Frodo and Sam were walking in a place with some rocks and then walked to a place with some more rocks and then rested at a place with even more rocks.

Sam, clearly getting tired of the somewhat rocky scenery, decided to comment on the ominous Rocky Mountains where big scary clouds were looming.

"Mordor, the one place in Middle-Earth we don't want to see any closer but the one place were trying to get to and it's just where we can't get." Sam then tightened the strap on his pack of many things.

Lets face it Mr. Frodo, were lost. I don't think Gandalf meant for us to come this way."

"He didn't mean for a lot of things to happen, but they did." Frodo panted and then everything went slow mow and then an uber fast zoom in on Mordor happened.

Frodo saw a big orange eye that scared the crap out of him.

'AHHHH'

"Mr. Frodo" Sam asked, clearly alarmed at Frodo's terrified look.

"Its the ring, isn't it." Sam, being captain exposition stated.

"It's getting heavier." Frodo said, then clutching at his brownish waistcoat. Which was in fact made at Hobbit Clothiers™. He then sat down and took a drink from his middle-earth eco friendly water bottle. Sam shrugged off his 25-pound bag of stuff, as it was extremely heavy.

"What food have we got left." Frodo asked Sam, feeling hungry.

Sam looked again though his bag of many things. "Let me see. Oh yes, lovely: Lembas Bread. And look, more lembas bread." Sam then tossed the magical everlasting Lembas bread to Frodo and the Hobbits started om nomming.

"I don't usually hold foreign food, but this elvish stuff s'not that bad." Sam said, trying to lighten the mood but he was obviously depressed about not being able to have fish and chips for several months.

"Nothing ever dampens your spirits, does it Sam?" Frodo said, not seeing through Sam's food depression.

"Those rain clouds might."

* * *

"This looks strangely familiar." Sam said, looking at some more rocks.

Frodo despairing replied. "Cause we've been here before. Were going in circles." As apposed to going around in squares, which is a far worse way to be lost.

Frodo and Sam then walked some more to a place filled with, you guessed it, rocks.

"Ugh, what's that hard stink? What if theirs a nasty bog near by. Can you smell it?"

"Yes, I can smell it. Were not alone."

"Well, we best keep moving." said Sam. Walking forward trying to ignore the very creepy feeling that he and Frodo had a creepy stalker. Frodo grimaced, at Sam's attempt to do so and followed him after a moment.

" Frodo!" Sam exclaimed with his 'I'm very surprised hobbit face' as he turned around a rocky corner.

"What is it Sam?" Frodo said, trying to catch up, which was difficult because he had small hobbit legs.

"It's a girl."

"What? Is this a joke Sam? I know I haven't been myself but there's no need for this."

"No, it really is a girl. She's just lying there. I think she might be hurt. Come on, Frodo!"

Frodo turned around a corner to find Sam kneeling by a girl who wasn't clothed properly for the freezing weather of Emyn Muil. She had a funny blue textured pair of trousers and a shirt with hardly any sleeves. It was then he recognized her, he had seen this girl in Galadriel's mirror.

"She's stone cold." Sam said concerned. He took off his eleven cloak and wrapped it around her.

"What do we do with her?" Frodo asked, still pondering over what he had seen in the mirror, it was definitely her.

"Not much we can do but wait for her to wake up." Sam said as he rummaged through his giant bag for something.

"Where did she come from? How do we know she's not one of the Dark Lord's spies." Frodo voiced his thoughts aloud as he took in the sight of the strange girl who magically appeared on the mountain. Although, if she was in the mirror after seeing images of all his friends, she couldn't be evil. Right?

"Is there a place called Florida in Mordor?" Sam said, still looking through his bag.

"Where?"

"Florida."

"What are you going on about Sam? What is Florida?"

"It's where she's from." Sam said. Showing him a small card of strong material, which wasn't paper but some other strange material.

"Emma Auckland, it says right here and here it says the State of Florida. I reckon that's where she's from."

"Driver's License." Frodo read. "What could that be?"

"I haven't the foggiest but I'm sure we can ask her soon as she wakes up. She doesn't look like an enemy spy and actually she's dressed rather like Sarah was when we found her in Moria."

Frodo nodded, "I suppose." He walked over to sit next to Sam and the unconscious girl.

"I wonder how they got this painting to look so realistic." Sam pondered, still looking at the yellowish drivers license.

"Perhaps Florida is full of great painters" Frodo thought aloud.

"Hmm, maybe." Sam said, getting into his 'I'm thinking Hobbit mode' "We'll have to ask her when she gets up."

* * *

Emma groaned, her head was killing her and she slowly tried to sit up.

"Easy, There. Don't get up to fast." that voice sounded familiar, or maybe it was just her head killing her. She pressed the palms of her hands to her eyes. What could have happened to make her head hurt this badly? Did she slip and fall next to The Falls lagoon thing? Was she talking to a paramedic?

"Are you alright?" Came another voice, which sounded very familiar but it couldn't be. Elijah Wood wasn't a paramedic in Florida, was he?" Her eyes snapped open to see the concerned faces of Frodo Baggins and Samwise Gamgee. Emma, in shock just stared.

"Are you alright?" Frodo asked.

"Umm..." What! What! Frodo Baggins? WHAT?

"How did you end up here." Sam asked with his kind hobbity face.

"Well, I..." Emma started but couldn't seem to get out any words. "I was just... in a bookstore."

"A bookstore?" Frodo asked. "Are there any of those near here?"

"No, I don't know how I got here. I was reading and then there was a light."

"Frodo, that's like what happened to Sarah." Sam pointed out. Frodo nodded with his serious hobbit face.

"Are you from America?"

Emma stared at him. 'So this is where Sarah went.'

* * *

"You'll never take me alive!"

"Merlin!"

"Arthur"

"Sarah! Get down." Sarah ducked as Arthur swung his sword over her head to ward off a guard in shiny chain mail and Merlin shoved another guard but was pushed back down. Merlin made sure no one was looking before sneakily blasting the guard into the wall. He then hit another one with his stick-staff thingy.

"haha!" Merlin yelled triumphantly.

"Ahhh!" yelled another ticked off bearded guard yelled as Arthur shoved him into a pillar before he cut Merlin's head off.

"Pay attention, Merlin!"

"TAKE THEM OUT!"

"AHHHH!" Sarah yelled as two guards came rushing towards her but for some strange reason they tripped and fell into a heap. She looked over to see Merlin smirking.

"Cheeky wizard." she muttered.

"YOU IDIOTS! RESTRAIN THEM!"

"Shut up you wormy bastard!" Sarah called but was then grabbed by two rohirim guards.

"Lower your weapons or the girl dies." Wormetounge said, in his wormy way.

"No! No! I refuse to be a damsel in distress!" Sarah said angrily. "This is all your fault Arthur!"

"You're the one who led us here!" Arthur yelled back as he dropped his weapon and was grabbed by several guards

"Yes, but you insisted we move faster and we got here to early!"

"Well, you might have checked to see if they were here!"

"How were we supposed to do that, there were giant walls."

"You could have found a way!"

"How?"

"Silence and put down your weapons!" came the loud slimy voice of Grima Wormetounge.

Merlin and Arthur reluctantly put down their stuff used for violent occasions to Sarah's chagrin. Sarah, Merlin, and Arthur were all being held at sword point and held by several dazed Rohirim guards.

"Now, you will tell me what are you doing here and why I shouldn't have you all killed for creating such a disturbance in the court of King Theoden." Grima leered at them as he nearly spat the King of Rohan's name. Theoden merely drooled and looked like he was in hibernation.

"You call that a disturbance. You must have rubbish parties here." Sarah said struggling slightly against her horse loving captors.

"Take them to the dungeon!" Wormetounge ordered. "I will deal with them later." Theoden merely looked dazed as usual.

The guards then hauled them away down some steps, which Sarah had never seen before.

"On the bright side of things..." Sarah started.

"What on earth could be bright about this situation?" Merlin demanded.

"I've never ever seen the Edoras dungeon!"

"Well, you're about to find out." Arthur muttered.

Sarah, Merlin, and Arthur were shoved into a cell with straw. Sarah fell over and Arthur stumbled but recovered and then Merlin fell on top of her.

"Oof!"

"Get off, Merlin!" Sarah said pushing Merlin off of her, she was being squished.

"Shhh!" Arthur interjected, which is a fun nifty descriptive adjective, as he leaned against the cell wall. "I'm thinking."

"Sorry, sorry." Merlin said blushing as he got off of her. Sarah coughed and got up and looked around. There wasn't much to the Rohan dungeon, just some bars and some stone. 'Hm, boring.' she thought to herself, it just looked like every other dungeon did. As Arthur pondered some more and Merlin sat on the ground and stared at the ceiling, Sarah thought about how they got here. They had gotten lost several times and Merlin nearly died about 5 times from various peril but had eventually found the yellow rocky, plain of Rohan and after that Edoras. Sarah assumed, because they had gotten lost so many times that they had arrived after everybody left for helms deep. However, she was wrong and they had gotten here early during Wormetounge's rain of terror. Eh, hopefully bleached Gandalf and the rest would get here soon.

Sarah was broken out of her thoughts as a guard came up to the cell. "Get up, Master Wormetounge wants to see the girl."

'Oh, no.'

* * *

** Haha! Please Review and the second Chapter of DOOM will get up faster. :D**


	3. The Second Chapter of DOOM

**Author's Note:** Terribly sorry about the length of this chapter, its really short because my usual chapter minimum is 2,000 words. Don't worry, soon you'll get a normal length epic chapter of doom with lots of Emma. Anyways here you go.

**Warnings: This Chapter contains mentions of Figwit the elf (please look him up if you don't know him) and The Zero to Hero song form Disney's Hercules.**

**Disclaimer:**

"What do you mean people own us?" Arthur said incredulously.

"Its true, look at your shirt." Sarah said pointing.

Arthur looked down at his red shirt to see a dark red label that read _©BBC._

"When did that get there? Sarah did you sew this onto my clothes!"

"I don't know how to sew."

"All girls sew."

"That's stereotyping!"

* * *

'Oh, no. Oh, no' Sarah said to herself. An audience with Grima Wormtounge sounded like the worst thing since global warming was discovered. 'What the hell do I do? What would he want with me? Oh, God I hope he doesn't want what he wants with Eowyn. No! That's ridiculous, I'm not a Mary-sue after all. Ha! I guess some pluses come form that then! Eeeee, still this is very very not good.'

The bearded-horse-loving guard pulled Sarah out of the cell. 'Ah! Not good!'

"No!" Arthur yelled. "What does he want with her?"

The Rohirim guard ignored him. 'Crap!' thought Sarah, as she was drug out of the cell with Arthur protesting behind her.

"You can't do this!" yelled Merlin, but he and Arthur could only watch as Sarah was taken away. Which made the Camelot residents very nervous and cross with Wormtounge.

Another guard walked by, who also had a beard because for some reason every guard in Rohan had one. Some sort of Rohan law saying every guard must have beards, all the wives were not happy about it.

"Please, don't you have any conscience? You can't take her up to that... creep! If he wants to question someone he can talk with me."

The guard looked up at him and then around the dungeon. "I don't want to see that worm hurt your friend but there isn't much I can do... unless..."

"What?" Merlin asked, standing next to Arthur.

"The Lord Eomer should be arriving today, he has no love for Wormtounge. Perhaps he can get her out but I doubt he can do anything for you."

"We'll find another way out. Just, please get her away from him." Arthur said, earnestly.

The guard nodded and walked down the Corridor in a guarding fashion.

Arthur and Merlin worried some more, Sarah had faced Orcs but could she come unscathed from a creepy slimy man?

* * *

The Guard, whose name was Hana not Hannah, sped off to see if the Third Marshall of the Ridemark had returned to see if the girl could be saved. Many times Eomer feared for his own sister who creeper man had started stalking, so he had assigned Hana to keep a look out. He climbed up some steps to look over the vast hilly hills of Rohan to see a company of riders approaching. Hana breathed a sigh of relief, there would be a chance to save the girl from creeper man and get her out of the dreary city that Edoras had become.

A while later Eomer approached the Golden Hall but not before Hana was able to speak to him.

"Lord Eomer, we have a problem." He said, stating the obvious problem that there was in fact a problem and not being more epic about it, which was lame because it would have sounded cooler if he had said Houston instead of Eomer. Sadly this fic does not have any rocket ships to make it more epic… maybe later on there will be.

"My guess that it has to do with the sneak in the Hall." Eomer said epically, bringing up the cool epicness from where Hana made it lame.

"Yes, unfortunately he has captured two men and a girl."

"A girl." Eomer cut him off. "Then he…"

"Is about to interrogate her in the hall."

"Then we have little time to lose, I shall interrupt then you must take her out of the city and hide in the ground where my fore-fathers are, I would tell you to hide in your own house but I fear he would watch the gate when he heard of her escape. I will meet you tonight and we will get the girl out of the grip of the worm." Eomer wasn't too happy about having some people hide where his dead relatives were buried but where else were they supposed to hide, it's all flat plain in Rohan! No useful forests to snoop in, just rolling hills for miles on end.

"Yes, sir." Hana said in epic soldier mode.

"Come, let us save the girl." With that Eomer and Hana marched towards the Hall, epically of course.

* * *

'No, no, no, no.' Sarah thought to herself as she was dragged up the stairs. 'What the hell do I do? Does he have contact with Saruman? Isn't Saruman in Theoden? Ew, That's gross now that I think about it. Aw, Crap I'm going to see Grima Wormtounge!'

Sarah struggled but the guard holding her merely pushed her along into the golden hall, which was more like the tarnished golden hall because it sure didn't have a goldy feel to it. The guard rudely pushed her to her knees and she looked up to see the unpleasant sight of Grima Wormtounge.  
"Hi." Sarah said weakly, her insides churning.

Wormtounge sniffed. "What do you know about the oncoming events in the war and where is the ring?"

'Wow, that was direct.' Sarah thought.

"Sorry, oncoming events? What on earth are those?" Sarah said, and then realized her mistake "Middle-earth! What on middle-earth are those? I meant middle-earth, not earth. I don't know a place called earth, no and I wasn't born there either. I was born in the house of King Chuck Norris!" Panicking she looked up at Theoden. He was leering at her with eyes she was sure belonged to the immensely unpleasant Saruman.

"Does the house of Chuck Norris happen to be on your world?" Grima asked, walking over next to her.

'Ahhhh! Saruman has magical seer powers, no palantir. Oh, shoot. What do I say now?'

"Figwit." Sarah burst out suddenly

"What?" Grima asked, annoyed in his evil-weird-creepy way.

"I said, Figwit."

"What are you talking about, insolent girl."

"I'm talking about Figwit. The man who will destroy you and Saruman and all your other evil orc minion thingys."

"Who is this Figwit? One of your companions? They cannot save you now." Grima said in his special dark epic creepy voice.

"No, they are nothing against the mighty power of Figwit and soon you will grovel to his mightiness." Sarah put a very serious face on. 'Maybe this'll work! If I can scare him or confuse him! Oh God, I'm trying to scare a wizard and his scary creeper side-kick!'

"Where does this Figwit live?"

"He lives, everywhere and in everything and his best friend is Chuck Norris, who is my leader, king, and hero." Sarah said, saying Chuck Norris very slowly. "He is fire and ice, the heart of time, the bane of Britney Spears, the great avenger of... Harry Potter." 'Hey Bilbo did this! It sorta worked against a huge Dragon.'

Wormtounge was getting very confused, was this girl really the source of information that would win the war or clinically insane?

"Don't lie to me. I know you happen to know everything that is going to happen, now tell me where the ring is." he said putting his face in front of hers.

Sarah blanched and started coughing. 'EUGH, That stinks! No wonder he's called Wormtounge, although its more like he's got a dead worm in there.'

"Your Mother" Sarah managed to say through coughing. Wormtounge frowned and moved to backhand her.

*Hercules Song* "OOOOHHH YEAAA. Bless my soul, Herc was on a role. Person of the week in every Greek opinion poll...

Wormtounge yelped and fell over, Theoden-Saruman jumped, and Sarah froze and her eyes went wide. 'My phone's gone off when I'm being interrogated by Grima Wormtounge? When did my phone get signal in middle-earth?'

**To Be Continued**

**maybe**

**probably**

**hopefully**

**if you review much more likely**


	4. The Third Chapter of DOOM

**Authors Note: Hi Everyone! Sorry for the wait, School is rough. Had to write a twelve page paper on Billy Budd the sailor but I'm back! This chapter doesn't have much of Arthur and Merlin but I promise you the next one will. Enjoy! :D**

* * *

On a cold dreary day two birds were migrating across the Emyn Muil.

"Well Bert, its as quiet as ever." said a grayish middle-earthen bird.

"Yes, yes Alfonzo. Nothing ever happens here. It's just rocky and quiet every year. Not even the pesky humans live here." said Bert a bluish middle-earthen bird.

"AHHHHHHH!"

There was then an epic zoom through some fog and clouds on two startled hobbits and a freaked out teenager.

"Oh my God! No it isn't, it can't! What? Hobbits! Frodo Sam! Middle-Earth! What the hell? Sarah went here! What? How? Why? What the hell!" Emma said, coming to her senses.

Frodo and Sam were freaked out at Emma's outburst. They jumped back and nearly hit some rocks.

"Calm down, we won't hurt you!" Sam yelled, trying to quiet the crazed girl.

"How do you know our names?" Frodo asked, but then he thought that if Sarah had read the books about the future maybe she had to.

"Oh my God Hobbits!" Emma backed against a rock wall and realized she was wearing an elven cloak.

'I'm wearing an Elven cloak? I'm wearing an Elven Cloak!' Emma screamed in her head.

"Please Calm Down." Frodo said urgently.

"Hobbits! Rocks! Emyn Muil. What's happening? How did I get here? How did Sarah get here? What the heck is going on?"

"Calm Yourself!" Frodo suddenly yelled with Hobbity Authority.

Emma stopped and looked with wide eyes at Frodo Baggins.

"My name is Frodo Baggins, we know your name is Emma Auckland and you are from the land of Florida. Please calm down!" The girl was silenced, although still hyperventilating slightly, and stared at the small creature with hairy feet.

"How do you know my name! How do you know about Florida?" Emma burst out suddenly.

"How do you know ours?" Sam pointed out.

"Tolkien!" Emma yelled, still not taking in the whole being dropped in Middle-Earth situation. Her brain was still whizzing trying to process it. 'WHATTTTTTT!'

"Who's that?" Sam asked.

"A British Person!" Emma yelled.

"A what?" Sam asked, even more confused then he previously was. Which was pretty dang confused. More then one would be over the quantum mechanics of a starship. This however is justified because its how people would normally react to randomly being in the Emyn Muil.

"STOP!" Frodo yelled, Sam and Emma fell silent. No sound could be heard in the Emyn Muil except two migrating birds tweeting about the first sign of life in the place for hundreds of years.

"I know your name because we found it on this yellow… well were not sure what it is. Would you mind telling us?"

"It's a driver license, a card that lets you drive car. Cars are sort of like mechanical horses."

Sam and Frodo stared at her. 'Mechanical Horses? Really?'

"Look, its not important. What is important is why the heck am I here!"

"We don't know why you're here. Sam and I had nothing to do with you coming here."

"Well, I didn't really think you did. Considering your Hobbits not wizards. Or you could be wizards disguised at Hobbits." Emma thought and backed away from the Halflings.

"Now wait just a minute. We found you here and tried to help." Sam protested in a valiant hobbity way.

"How do I know that? I was unconscious!"

"Because… We won't hurt you!" Sam ran out of reasons. How were they supposed to convince her?

Emma gave him a look, "That's not a reason."

"Please. We also think we know a friend of yours." Frodo stated. It seemed likely that this girl was acquainted with the craziest member of the fellowship.

"Is her name Sarah?" Emma asked.

"Yes, actually."

Emma managed to calm down and remember the strange book incident. She then explained it to the Hobbits.

"… and then there was this weird man who wished me merry Christmas."

BZZ

Emma jumped and then pulled out her phone to see a text from her brother.

_'Emma? Where r u?'_

She then typed. 'Long story… go to the car and wait.' Pressing send a message popped up. 'Unable to Send'

'Oh right, I'm in middle earth. I've got no signal but no how did Oliver text me?' Emma looked at the place where the bars were to see the words MEN. 'What the heck?'

"Sarah had something like that but it was silver." Frodo stated, seeing the strange device.

"Yea, she's got an Iphone. Oh, don't worry about what that is, Its complicated. Actually why don't we settle that now, just don't worry about it if I say something you don't understand. I'll explain if you need to know. Keep things simpler there." Emma said, smiling at the Hobbits who nodded gratefully. Emma however was starting to panic, what was Oliver going to do? How was he going to explain to her mother that she mysteriously disappeared? She couldn't text him but he could text her. How does that work?

Frodo noted that Emma seemed more calm, not sensing her panicking over not being able to text her brother and aside from her outburst when she first woke up.

"That's probably the best idea, we never could understand half of what Sarah said." Sam noted.

"That's Sarah for you. Even people where I'm from don't either but if you get to know her, she'll start to make sense."

'Maybe I can call Sarah? Where is she in my contacts? Jones, Jones, Jones… where've you got to?'

"What are you doing?" Frodo asked, curious as to her mysterious button pushing.

"Making a call, because for some bizarre reason I've now been connected to the middle-earth network. I can't call to Florida but maybe I can reach Sarah." Emma turned the cell phone around to show Frodo a logo next to five bars that was labeled 'MEN'.

"Men?"

"Well, I'm guessing that stands for Middle Earth Network." Emma laughed. "Anyways, having that lets me communicate with Sarah's phone so, I'm going to just that."

"So, we'll be able to send messages to the rest of the fellowship!" Sam realized.

"Oh, yes! Middle-Earth connected, now all you guys need now is a Middle Earth Facebook." Emma then epically pressed dial and unknown to the three travelers chaos erupted in the Golden Hall.

* * *

**_"Bless my soul, Herc was on a role!" _**

Grima Wormetounge got up and started looking for the source of the noise.

"I demand that you tell me where that noise is from!" Grabbing Sarah's jacket.

'Oh no! I'm to get poisoned by toxic breath! Get out of my face!'

"Figwit's come for his revenge! He's right behind you!" Sarah yelled, in the hopes of be saved from being blasted.

**_ "Person of the week in every Greek opinion poll!"_**

Wormetounge quickly dropped her and she fell over while he whipped around, looking for Figwit.

"Oof!" Sarah yelled as she fell on the non-carpeted floor. "You lot need to invest in carpets." She muttered to herself.

**_"What a Pro! Herc could stop a show!" _**

"GUARDS!" Wormtoungue yelled, still looking for Figwit.

Théoden then stopped looking around the hall with a Saruman liked gaze. Clearly he had come to the conclusion the girl was insane or else he to go off to the little wizards room. Which was surprisingly high quality for a wizard's lair and included an everlasting supply of lavender hand soap and a spa. How else do you thing Saruman kept his nails that long?

"He's in the hall! He's coming for you!" Sarah Yelled, trying to distract Wormtoungue from her buzzing pocket.

"GUARDS!" Wormetounge roared. Several guards rushed into the hall and then looked very confused.

**_ "He's a hero!"_**

"Find the noise and kill Figwit!"

**_"He was a kid with fantastic powers!"_**

"You'll never kill Figwit! He's not only a person but also an idea! You can't kill ideas, well you can but you'd need to go all inquisition." Sarah said from the floor but was ignored by the wormy man and guards.

The guards ran around the hall searching for the mysterious Figwit, who they had no idea what he looked like but as Guards they just assumed he'd be some buff dude with a sword and with a killing guards fetish.

"Find him!" Wormetounge shouted.

**_ "From Zero to Hero in no time flat!" _**

"You'll never find him!"

**_"ZERO TO HERO!"_**

"Shut up, girl!"

**_"Just Like That!_**

"Oh, that's such a bad thing! Mr. Creeper Man with a dead animal in his mouth!"

"SHUT UP!"

Everything went quiet because Sarah's phone stopped ringing and because Eomer and Eowyn just opened the doors to the Golden Hall.

* * *

"Hm, not answering. I guess I'll leave a message." Emma muttered. "Hi, Sarah. Well this is a bit complicated but I'm in Middle-Earth and apparently so are you. So, um if you could call me back when your not being attacked that would be great. Bye!" Emma looked back at the Hobbits. "Well, I guess we can try later. So which way are we going?"

Frodo and Sam looked at each other and Frodo sighed. "We don't know."

"Ah, that's a bit problematic."

The three went off in a random direction, hoping to escape the rocky labyrinth with no end. Emma kept trying to text Oliver back as they walked and called him several time but she kept getting the same message.

"Were sorry, but we cannot reach that number at this time."

'Damn you phone person!' She thought bitterly. It was no use. Oliver was on his own, she hoped he was all right because she hadn't gotten any more texts. She frowned thinking about it and the rocks of Emyn Muil depressed her. She was in for a rough journey.

They walked more and Emma was luckily able to keep up with the hobbits despite their experience in long distance walking, which was mostly because her stride was much bigger then theirs.

Suddenly, her phone buzzed and Emma yelled. Frodo Sam ran over to her.

"It's Sarah! She's texted me! Written me a message!" She held up her phone to reveal her phone. _'Hello?'_

"We'll have to keep talking to her while we walk. It's starting to get dark." Frodo said but he was pleased to see they had some communication.

_ 'SARAH!'_ Emma wrote in all caps. She kept walking, waiting but it wasn't long before_ 'EMMMMAAAAAA!'_ appeared on her screen.

"Can she speak to Aragorn?" Frodo asked as they walked.

"Course!" Emma replied, smiling at being able to talk to someone from her own world.

_'WHERE R U?'_ Frodo wants to know if Aragorn's there.' Frodo waited patiently as they walked and tried not to trip over the never-ending rocky ground.

BZZ

_'I'm not with him, we got separated. They ran off to stop the hobbits from being taken to Isenguard.'_

"What did she say?" Frodo asked.

"She's not with him. They got separated. I don't know why. Hold on." Emma explained, Frodo nodded solemnly.

'_Ah, Sad.'_ Emma texted then realized that her friend was alive and not abducted by aliens. _ 'BUT YOU'RE ALIVE!'_

BZZZ

_'YESSS! YOUR IN MIDDLE EARTH!'_

_'I KNOW!' _ Frodo looked over at Emma's arm.

"Do you always have to use large letters?" he asked, trying to stop being in hobbity ring possessed mode.

Emma laughed. "No, Were just excited to talk to each other."

BZZZ

_'ARE YOU IN TH EMYN MUIL!'_

'YES!'

BZZZ

_'COOOL!'_

_'UNCOOL!'_

BZZ

_'ITS STILL SLIGHTLY COOL!'_

_'Yes, but its way too cold.'_

BZZZ

_'Ah, bummer. Are you with hobbits 1 and 2?'_

_'Yep.'_

BZZ

_'Tell them I said Hi!'_

"Frodo! Sam! Sarah says hi!"

Frodo smiled. "Tell her we say hello and that we hope she's alright."

"Rightio!" Emma said and texted away.

The Hobbits kept moving with smiles on their faces from Emma's happy texting. It then occurred to Emma that she had no idea where in middle-earth Sarah was. She wasn't with Aragorn meaning she wasn't running on the world's greatest marathon.

_'Wait, where r u?'_

BZZ

_'Edoras with a guard named Hana!'_

_'There's a girl guard?'_ Emma frowned, as she assumed Middle-Earth had the same medieval no female guard policy. Then again, most of the Rohirim extras were women. Wait did that mean…

BZZZ

_'No, he's not a girl. He very much resents that.'_

'Ahhh… its just Rohan name that starts with an H. That's completely normal….'

_'Oh, sorry Hannah.'_ Emma texted with a smile.

BZZZ

_'gtg, Eomer is back. I have to escape Edoras. Wormy's here. I'll call u later!'_

'Wormtoungue! Oh no.' Emma frowned.

"Is something the matter?" Frodo asked, seeing the girl's frown.

"Sarah's in Rohan. Trying to escape."

"How did she get there?"

"I've no idea."

_'Be careful! Stay away from wormy!'_ Emma hoped she was alright, there was no telling what sort of trouble that girl could get in to.

* * *

Later that day it started to get dark and the travelers started to find a place to sleep. They finally came up to a small rocky area with a large wall that looked to Emma as if it could be climbed down by some creature that talks in the third person.

"Are you sure this is the best place?" Emma asked.

"Its no use looking any farther." Sam said. "It's much to dark."

Emma nodded and grimaced. It seemed like she was bout to be introduced to Gollum. Frodo laid down and Emma handed back Sam his cloak. He rejected it and insisted that she keep it and after much arguing the girl was forced to sleep on the cloak. Emma didn't sleep at all as she was well aware what would be climbing above her. The Hobbits didn't either and soon the creepy voice of Gollum could be heard above them.

"Their Thieves! Their Thieves!"

'OH MY GOD! HES GOING TO JUMP ON MY HEAD!' Emma shut her eyes tightly as she waited.

"Their filthy little thieves! Where is it? Where is it?"

'EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!'

They stole if from us! My Precious. Curse them! We hates them! Its ours, it is! And we wants its!"

Frodo and Sam popped up and grabbed him and Emma scooted back. Gollum threw back the hobbits and twirled around like a spinning top, no that's a rubbish comparison more like how you twist a coke cap off. The creature then spotted Frodo's evil bling and scrambled to get it.

"Perv!" Emma yelled. But Gollum didn't know what a perv was and ignored her.

Sam then epically grabbed Gollum's leg and pulled him off but then he was pushed off. His epic score on the epic meter went down a bit.

"Sam!" Emma yelled. Rushing forward a bit.

"Stay out of this!" Sam yelled as he went to pull Gollum off.

"But I'm twice your size! I could squish Gollum for you! This is no time to go all chivalrous!"

Sam, however was to busy trying to deal with the gymnastic creature to hear her. Frodo was then smashed against a rock and went unconscious. Emma panicked as she saw Frodo. 'That never happened! He needs to have his epic sting moment' Sam yelled as Gollum bit his neck. Emma stared at Frodo, willing him to wake up but he didn't move. 'Do Something Emma!' she yelled mentally to herself as Gollum was choking Sam. She looked around and spotted a pointy rock, grabbing she rushed over to Gollum and pointed it at him.

"This is a rock! You've seen one of these before! Haven't you Gollum!" The super pale creature looked at her skeptically and gave no intention of releasing Sam. 'Oh, Come on!' She thought. "I'll do something evil with it! I will and you'll regret it!" Sam was turning blue, but not really blue just… it's just an expression. Or is it an expression? Do people actually turn blue when they're being choked? Oh well, back to the story. The evil slimy creature still kept his grip. 'I don't really want to hurt him. But he's killing Sam! I have to knock him out! I've never done that before! Oh, well! Here goes nothing.' She slammed the rock over Gollum's head and the creature fell limp. 'Ah! Is he dead!' Sam rolled off Gollum, gasping for breath. 'I killed Gollum! No hang on.' She put her head to his chest and heard a thumping noise. 'Oh, good. I didn't kill one of my favorite characters.'

Sam then got up and realized Frodo was lying, unconscious. "Mr. Frodo!"

'Ah! What if Frodo's dead too!' Emma and Frodo ran over to him. Luckily he started to open his eyes. 'He's not dead! Yay! Were not all going to die!' Emma smiled.

"What happened? Where's Gollum?" Frodo asked. Emma and Sam looked at each other and told Frodo the tale of Emma's newfound epic rock smashing skills.

* * *

The next morning Gollum started screaming bloody murder. "I hate you!" yelled Emma. "All this time I thought you were so cool being all your acrobatics but no because you scream like a banshee. Worse then a banshee!"

"Stupid girl! Makes our poor head hurts! Nasty girl!"

"Shut up!" Emma yelled

"It burnses! It Freezes us! Nasty Elves twisted it. Take it off us!"

"Quiet you!" Sam yelled and Gollum proceeded to make a very unpleasant screaming noise.

"It's hopeless! Every Orc in Mordor is gonna here this racket!"

"And if they don't our ear drums will burst!" Emma yelled.

"Let's just tie him up and leave him." Sam said in agreement.

"No! That would kill us!"

"Oi, You tried to do the same to us!" Emma pointed out.

"Nasty little girl!" Gollum wailed.

"Its no more then you deserve!" Sam added.

"Ahhhhh!" Gollum wailed and did some sort of weird back wiggle thing on the ground.

"Maybe he does deserve to die." Frodo said. "but now that I seem him, I do pity him,"

"Careful." Emma pointed out. "He may be a wretched thing but he still has the power to kill us all."

"Yes, but perhaps he can change."

'Not really, but you can try Frodo.' Emma thought to herself.

Gollum got up after hearing this. "We be nice to them, if they be nice to us. Even nasty girlses. Take it off us!"

"Your not doing yourself favors by calling me nasty girlses." Emma muttered.

There was then an epic shot of Frodo, Emma, and Sam's hair whipping in a middle-earthen breeze and Frodo stepped forward a bit.

"We swears to you what you wants! We swears!"

"There's no promise you can make that I can trust."

"We swears to serve the master of the precious. We will swear on the precious. Gollum, Gollum."

'Ew, is he coughing up a hairball?'

"The ring is treacherous. It will hold you to your word."

"Yes, on the precious." Gollum said with his head downcast and creepily crawled towards them. "On the precious." He said silently.

"I don't believe you!" Sam yelled and Gollum scrambled away. Frodo grabbed his arm and Sam jerked Gollum down off a rock.

"Eek." Emma said as she ran out behind Sam to see if the weird creature was all right but thought of the night before and didn't.

"He's trying to trick us! If we let him go he'll throttle us in our sleep." Sam yelled hobbitly defiant.

'Or feed us to a giant spider. I'm not sure what's worse. Probably the Spider." Emma thought darkly epic.

Gollum gasped and rolled on the ground. Frodo epically stepped forward to talk to him.

"You know the way to Mordor?" Frodo asked with the random wind still whipping his hair around.

"Yes." Gollum said uncertainly.

Frodo knelt down and Gollum scooted back a bit.

"You've been there before?

"Yes." Gollum said, not liking where this was going. However, Frodo took off the horrible elf rope and he sort of brightened up, not really but sort of. He more looked stunned by anyways.

There was then a shot of Sam looking nervous about the whole thing and the random wind kept whipping his hair about.

"You will lead us to the black gate."

'Here we go.' Thought Emma, as she ran after the hobbits and Gollum.

"Oof!" Emma tripped and groaned. "Stupid Gollum."

* * *

**Well, I hope you enjoyed and please review!**


	5. The Fourth Chapter of DOOM

**Hello! My name is the Author of DOOOOOM but you knew that. :D Anyways, sorry for the wait I decided to be really lazy but I'm back. I also want to inform you that the Merlin Lord of the Rings Crossover of DOOM has a Beta of DOOM. Her name is the Captain of Words and she writes awesome Star Trek fics of epic DOOM. After you finish reading this chapter you can go and read her awesome fic The Quirks of Jim Kirk. So here is the next chapter! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer:**

**"Hey Merlin! Did you know you belonged to the BBC?" Sarah asked.**

**"That What?" Merlin asked confused. He looked to Arthur for an explanation.**

**"Don't Ask." Arthur said, epically shaking his head.**

* * *

Eomer walked epically into the room with his Rohan stride.

"What is going on here?"

The entire room went silent and the only sound that could be heard was the crackling of large fire pot things. Don't question my descriptive adjectives….

"This does not concern you." Wormy the perv said, standing and trying to compose himself. He was still nervous about Figwit.

"Yes it does!" Sarah said, now restrained by Hana the guard. She felt a leathery glove come over her mouth. "MMMM!"

"This girl was found to be disturbing the king's peace." Wormy said, glaring at the American.

"MMMM! MMHMMHMM!" Sarah mmed, clearly not happy about being restrained.

"Well, then I suggest she be taken back to wherever she belongs." Eomer said, looking at the strange the girl before facing Wormtoungue.

"The girl is homeless and a menace to the city of Edoras." Wormy said pointing to her.

"I may be wrong, but she does not look like much of a threat." Eomer said, working out that the girl was clearly not a mary-sue and couldn't take on a full room of guards.

"Mhm!" Sarah said struggling.

"You would wish to let this girl run rampant around his lord's lands?" Wormy said, wormily.

"Well, if you're so intent on keeping the peace, then she will be taken back to the dungeons." Eomer challenged, glaring at the wormy man. The two had a staring contest before being interrupted by Sarah.

"MMMMM!"

"Hana, take the girl away." Eomer said, nodding to the guard.

" Yes, Lord Eomer." Hana said, coolly obedient.

Hana took Sarah out of the hall as she struggled uselessly. The Rohan guard was trained in epic combat while Sarah merely had P.E class. It was obvious who would win that fight. Sarah stopped struggling after she realized how futile it was to escape. Hana pulled her down the corridor and they passed the entrance to the dungeon.

'_Wait a minute; we're not going to the boring old dungeon. Hang on! My medieval guys are down there!'_

"MMMM!" Sarah, mmmed trying to point this out to Hana.

"I'm sorry. I would let you walk freely but if anyone were to see then they would tell the worm. They're good people but they serve a bewitched king." Hana stated darkly.

"Mmm…." Sarah muttered, not able to disagree.

"I'm glad you understand. Don't worry, we'll soon be out of the city. First we must got to the armory to make you less… conspicuous." Hana said, quietly.

"Mph." Sarah hmped, not happy about having to change.

"I would find you some more suitable clothing but I'm afraid there is no time. The armory is just outside and the guards may be told to look for a girl. They won't look for a soldier." Hana explained, in his Rohan soldier voice.

"Hm!" Sarah hmped, slightly excited to put on armor.

"I'm glad you agree." Hana whispered as a guard walked passed them.

'Does he speak mmm language?' Sarah thought to herself, as she was dragged out of the corridor.

* * *

Sarah threw the stupid helmet over one of the little hills. She was bored, really bored and the armor she was wearing was heavy. The Armor smith had managed to find her some chain mail that Eomer had worn when he was a teenager but it still fell to her knees. She wore a tabard with Rohan's white horse running across a green field. It was really cool but the helmet was lame.

"My Lady, we must be quiet. If we are found then the worm will have us killed." Hana said, in a serious soldier voice.

"Sorry." Sarah said and she reached over to pick up her helm. Holding it in her hands she glared at the stupid thing. It was supposed to protect your head but besides that it was just heavy. 'I guess if you decided to head but an orc it would be useful, but not as much as the gondorian ones.'

The sun had set and the sky was a bluesish orangey color. They had been hiding behind a small flowery hill where one of the great kings of Rohan was buried. Hana was slightly uneasy about sitting near the dead leaders but he sat silently with his sword drawn. Sarah tried to amuse herself by staring off into the distance like Legolas and picking grass but she was still bored.

'Hm, the mountains are nice.' Sarah thought to herself. 'I wonder where one of the beacons are.' Sarah scanned the peaks looking for one. 'If only one went to the Emyn Muil. Oh, hang on.'

"Ah! I forgot!" Sarah yelled as she reached into her pocket to see two messages on her phone. 'Missed Call from Emma Auckland', 'Voicemail from Emma Auckland.'

"Is something wrong?" Hana asked.

"How did she call me in Middle-Earth?" Sarah went to her voicemail and pressed play on the one from Emma. "Hi, Sarah. Well this is a bit complicated but I'm in Middle-Earth and apparently so are you. So, um if you could call me back when you're not being attacked that would be great. Bye!"

Sarah looked at her phone, stunned. Funny how that voice mail seemed so normal but not really normal at all.

"What are you doing?" Hana asked, confused at Sarah's tapping on the strange metal box.

"I am introducing texting to middle-earth."

"Texting? Is that some sort of new form of writing?"

"Sort of, it's a bit more complicated then that."

Sarah went to the chat icon on her phone and went to Emma's name. Hana looked on in wondered and tried to figure out how this mysterious texting worked.

'Hello?' Sarah texted.

Hana and Sarah stared epically at the phone, Sarah waiting for a response and Hanna wondering what would happen next.

BZZZZ

"Ah!" yelled Hana, and he jumped away from the phone, but still trying to stay hidden.

"Ah! What? No it's just a text! Don't worry!" Sarah, holding up the phone and trying to convince the Rohirim its harmlessness.

"It has you name on it!" Hana exclaimed.

"What? Ah!" Sarah stared down at the phone to see a message in all caps.

'SARAH!'

Sarah laughed and started pressing buttons. Hana still looked suspicious.

"EMMAAA!'

'WHERE R U? Frodo wants to talk to Aragorn.'

'I'm not with him, we got separated. They ran off to stop the hobbits from being taken to Isenguard."

"Ah, Sad. BUT YOU'RE ALIVE!'

'YESSS! YOUR IN MIDDLE EARTH!'

'I KNOW!'

'ARE YOU IN THE EMYN MUIL!'

'YES!'

'COOOL!'

'UNCOOL!'

'ITS STILL SLIGHTLY COOL!'

'Yes, but its way too cold.'

'Ah, bummer. Are you with hobbits 1 and 2?'

'Yep, they say hi.'

'Tell them I said hi back.'

'Wait, where r u?'

'Edoras with a guard named Hana!'

'There's a girl guard?'

"I am not a girl!" Hana exclaimed.

'No, he's not a girl. He very much resents that.'

'Oh, sorry Hannah.'

"Hana?" called the voice of Eomer. The guard then stood up epically.

'Gtg, Eomer's back. I have to escape Edoras. Wormy's here. I'll call u later!' Sarah texted as Hana went to talk to his leader.

'Be careful! Stay away from wormy!'

"Sarah, come! The Lord Eomer is here." Hana called. Sarah pushed herself up, the chainmail clinking as she moved.

'Dang! This stuff is heavy.' Sarah thought as she walked to Eomer. The horse lord had brought two great brown horses with him. The earthling stared at them because they were cool middle-earth horses.

"Hana, there has been a change of plan. I have been banished and must leave the city." Eomer said, darkly epic.

"Then I will come with you, I am loyal to you not the worm."

"Thank you, there are many who have decided to come as well. We will ride out and slaughter the orcs in our land."

"I will fetch my horse." Hana said putting on his helm.

"That may not be wise." Eomer warned. "Wormtoungue knows you took the girl. The company has assembled a few leagues from here. It's best if you ride Arod and leave your horse behind."

Hana nodded, still not happy about leaving his horse. Who would feed him? There was a straw shortage! No straw could be spared for horses whose masters decided to go saving girls from different universes!

"The girl will have to ride with you." Said Eomer.

"I have got a name and I'm pretty tired of being called girl, you know." Sarah pointed out. The horse lords turn to look at her.

"Of course, and it would be…?" Eomer asked.

"Sarah Jones of America." Sarah gave a bow, trying to look cool but failing because the armor made her nearly fall over.

Eomer smiled, amused. "Well, I am Lord Eomer, third marshal of the Ridemark."

"Ah, your name is cooler then mine." Sarah said, slightly depressed.

"Come, let us get you to safety." Eomer smiled a little and motioned for Hana to help the girl on to the horse.

"Excuse me, but could you do something about my friends? They're kind of stuck in the dungeons." Sarah said before Hana put her on the horse.

"I'm sorry, but we cannot risk going into the city. I have been banished and Hana promised them to get you out of the city. If I am caught then you will be put back in harm's way." Eomer mounted his horse and waited for his comrade and the mad girl.

"I can't just leave them. They're in the Rohan dungeon! What if Wormtoungue decides to execute them!"

"Don't worry, Wormtoungue has no plans for them." Hana said. "Apparently they are sentenced to a lifetime in the dungeons."

'Well, I suppose they're not going anywhere. How long will it take to get back to Aragorn? Neh! I don't like leaving those two. What if Arthur has another magic spazz or Merlin gets himself killed while I'm gone?' Sarah thought to herself.

"Are you sure there's nothing we can do? No epic rescue or something?" She said as Hana put her on the horse. He struggled a bit, putting a damsel on a horse was one thing. They just wore a cloth dress and were skinny because towers didn't include restaurants or refrigerators or pantries stuffed with princess gummies. Sarah was well fed and wearing a chainmail shirt.

Hana then got on the horse behind her and picked up the reins.

"I promised them to keep you away from the worm. Don't worry, I'm sure Lord Eomer will find a place for you."

'Yea, Right. Orcs are running all over Rohan and burning stuff. Where in the heck will he find a safe place?' But, Sarah remained silent and decided not to say anything else. There was no rescue happening tonight and now she had to find out how to deal with learning to ride a horse.

Eomer then pulled her out of her thoughts. "I believe this is yours." He said handing her the helmet she had discarded because of its uncomfortableness.

'Neh.' Thought Sarah, irritably but she took the helmet and the Riders of Rohan rode off.

* * *

Arthur hit the iron bars with his hand and cursed. That guard had better saved Sarah from the creep. Merlin sat down with his head in his hand thinking of a plan and looking amazingly adorable at the same time.

"Do you think she escaped?" Arthur asked, concerned.

"I don't know." Merlin said, rubbing the back of his head, still deep in thought. Obviously, he could save Sarah if he wanted to, but he couldn't blast open the cell or Arthur would have a magic spasm.

Arthur gripped the bars again and looked around the framing for some way to escape, but the Rohirim dungeon was strong. He slid down onto the stony floor. The straw had been removed because of an unlikely shortage. Straw shortages were not good things in Rohan and almost never happened. However, Wormtoungue had killed many of the straw harvesters and those that remained hadn't been able to take up the slack.

"We have to do something! This never should have happened, we should have protected her." Arthur said, leaning against the stonewall. "If something happens to her… if that worm…" The prince trailed off and put his head in his hand.

"We couldn't have stopped the guards from taking her." Merlin said quietly.

Arthur lifted his head and stared epically at the wall, still in noble prince mode. "We should have tried to escape."

The Camelot residents then heard some clanging noises and jumped up as Grima Wormtoungue himself walked down the dungeon steps. His black cloak slithered behind him and two guards stood behind him. Arthur and Merlin ran to the bars and glared epically at Wormtoungue.

"What have you done with her?" Arthur growled, not like a tiger but like an angry knight person.

"Such fierceness for such a young warrior." Wormtoungue sneered. He went to stand across from the Camelot people but not too close because they would have punched him.

"If anything happens to her…" Arthur said darkly.

"Then what?" taunted Wormtoungue. "You'll blast open the bars with sorcery and rescue her? Be her knight in shining armor?" Merlin's hand twitched as he continued to glare at the man with a worm for a tongue.

Arthur glared some more and Wormtoungue sneered. Wormy had just come up with something to keep the two beardless runts in his dungeons. They didn't seem to be much of a threat but it would be better to make sure they didn't try anything. "Well, I wouldn't plan any valiant rescues. The girl is dead."

* * *

In a woodland glade far far away a girl with flawless skin stepped out from behind a tree. She faced the audience.

**WARNING: This scene involves a Mary-Sue. Side affects of reading include Chronic Sue Spasms, Vomiting, Seizures, Brain Cell Failure, and Death.**

_"My name is Mary-Sue. I am ordinary girl with Barbie like blonde hair. I'm perfectly skinny and everyone wants me. One day I was in an animal shelter helping helpless furry animals when I was dramatically sucked into a horrible cave."_

_"…of EPIC DOOM!" Sarah yelled jumping out from behind a tree._

_"No, it was terrible! So awfully rocky and dark."_

_"Who the hell are you kidding? That was Moria and it is boss awesome." Sarah said, giving the perfect girl a weird look._

_"You're very strange." Mary-Sue said with a tinkling laugh._

_"What! A tinkling laugh? Who are you? Tinker Bell?" Sarah said, disliking the girl even more._

_"QUIET NOW!" The girl yelled, suddenly angry._

_Sarah jumped._

_"Holy crap! What?" Sarah said, startled._

_"Sorry" The girl said, returning to her sickly sweet voice. "I get angry sometimes. Also don't swear." _

_Mary-sue smiled and her eyes were sparkly AND THEN HER WHOLE FACE WENT SPARKLY!_

_"Wha…?" Sarah started but Mary-Sue interrupted._

_"Then I met two cute boys in a cave."_

_"Wait! Wait! Hang on! You can call Merlin cute but Arthur is more buff then cute. You're supposed to be perfect! Don't go stereotyping medieval boys!" Sarah said, epically defending her friends from being the victim of Sue Discrimination._

_Mary-Sue began crying. Sparkly tears ran down her sparkly face._

_"What is it?" Sarah asked, giving Mary-Sue a bewildered look._

_"I'm sorry. I just get emotional sometimes." Mary-Sue said._

_"Emotional about what exactly?"_

_"I just don't like being criticized." Mary-Sue said, and she started to sob._

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"My lady! My lady, wake up!" came the voice of Hana, the-would-be-dark-lord.

Sarah tried to get up, but she then fell back down, she wasn't quite awake yet. "I'm sorry! I had this awful dream! There was this sparkly girl named Mary-Sue and she was…. She was terrible!" Sarah said, distressed. The surrounding Rohirim gave her sympathetic looks, assuming that she was having nightmares about Wormtoungue but they had no idea about horrid creature named Mary-Sue. Hana patted her on the back.

"Don't worry. There is no one named Mary-Sue in middle-earth. It was just a dream." He said comfortingly. "Go back to sleep, the dawn has not yet come."

Sarah nodded sleepily and then went back to sleep on the blanket the Horse-Lords gave her. The trip had been hard but Sarah tried to be positive. It was like going on a camping trip with more horses and without tents… right forget the camping trip.

* * *

Meanwhile in a room filled with technology of epic doom….

Katherine Deanatra flipped a switch.

"Gah!" The timekeeper yelled. "Dawn! The systems failing! What's happening?"

A girl with very short dark hair came up behind her. "The time-stream is failing!

It can't take be altered this much! Look at it!" She gestured to a glowing blue line that was breaking in placed.

"It can't take it! The balance is being overthrown." Dawn started typing on of the black console.

"Well, what do we do?" Katherine said panicking. Dawn swore as another large fracture formed in the blue line.

"We have to restore the balance. It's too simple now with two people knowing the events and using it for good. Salron will be overthrown too soon and then look there's another one that crops up." Dawn said gesturing to a break in the line.

"Another Dark Lord? You've got to be kidding me." Kat said as she epically pushed some more buttons.

"I'm not. It's a bloody guard named Hana of Rohan. He lives and then finds some sort of weird magic thingy in the tower of Orthanc that makes him go mental. That's the thing when you move the balance of power, time tries to correct itself." Dawn said whilst typing urgently.

"So we have to make Evil more powerful before a guard goes to the dark side or do we just kill him?"

"Have you been listening If you just kill the guard someone else will become a dark lord of evilness. That guard won't ever become evil because we are putting someone else into the equation." Dawn brought up an image of a man with red hair.

"Henry Iowa." Katherine read. "Born in Ontario, Canada on January 12, 1987. Moved to Texas when he was thirteen. He graduated from Harvard University when he was eighteen. Woah." Kat said impressed.

"Oh yes. He's quite the protégée but not a very nice one." Dawn said bringing up a snapshot of Henry Iowa in prison. "In 2006 he was caught trying to infiltrate the FBI no ones quite sure why, but he was sentenced to a lifetime in prison."

"So we take him out and it won't effect Earth's time stream?" Katherine asked.

"Nope, because he never escapes and his family disowns him. He's the perfect choice." Dawn said. "Deanatra, please inform Commander Matthews."

"Yes, Sir." Katherine said, as she headed out the door. Dawn shook her head and stared at the screen.

* * *

**The next chapter will be up soon... maybe... probably... more likely if you review...**


	6. Behind The Scenes of DOOM

**Inspired by the Hobbit Blog**

**Disclaimer: All actors in this fic have fictional personalities and are in no way real representations of the actual people. **

**Dennis Lyn, Carrey Willis, Lucy Page, and Olivia Wilson are fictional characters. **

* * *

The screen was blank until the title, **The Making of the Merlin Lord of the Rings Crossover of Doom, **appeared on the screen with some epic Lord of the Rings music.

The screen than changed to the Edoras set and the hobbity music came on.

An epic person sat on small chair and crewmembers ran around doing movie stuff. A subtitle on the left hand corner of the screen read "The Author of DOOM"

"Hello, my name is the Author of DOOM." The person said. "The next chapter is taking a while so I thought I'd show you around the sets and introduce you to some of the cast.

Obviously they're very busy shooting for the next chapter but we managed to ask them some questions. So I hope you enjoy this behind the scenes look."

* * *

The screen went blank and the words "**Henry Iowa**" flashed across the screen.

The Orthanc set appeared and Saruman was talking to Henry Iowa.

"AND ACTION!"

"Tell me Henry Iowa, what are you willing to do for power." Saruman said, walking up to his chair of doom.

"Whatever it takes." Said the redheaded criminal mastermind.

The screen then changed to show the actor who played Henry Iowa.

"Hi! My name is Dennis Lyn and I play Henry Iowa. My character just dropped into middle-earth and he's ready to stir up trouble." Said Dennis.

The black Orthanc set looked epic behind him.

"He's had several different backgrounds over the course of the production.

Originally he was going to be an evil math tutor but we decided it would be more epic if he was a criminal mastermind with a Frappuccino obsession."

The set than changed to the Rohan dungeon set and Bradley James sat next to Colin Morgan.

"Dennis Lyn is great as Henry Iowa and he really captures the evil insanity of the character. Especially in the insane Frappuccino scenes." Bradley said, laughing slightly.

The screen showed Dennis Lyn drinking a large Starbucks Frappuccino on the Orthanc set.

"He drinks them everyday in real life. I think that's partially why they cast him." Colin said, in his epic Irish accent.

"Yea, but the bit about him being an evil mastermind is fictional." Bradley interrupted.

"Are we sure about that?" Colin asked.

"No, but he hasn't killed us yet so I think were okay. Hopefully he's really just an actor." Bradley sent a suspicious look at the camera.

The scene than changed to Sarah Jones dressed in her uniform sitting in the Golden hall set. Words on the bottom left of the screen read 'Carrey Willis'.

"Henry is basically Sarah's doppelganger. He's been imprisoned by the Doctor for breaking into the Pentagon to steal an alien weapon." Carrey said.

"He's a cat person and Sarah's more of a dog person. They are basically complete opposites of each other."

Dennis Lyn appeared back on the screen with the Orthanc set behind him

"I think at the end of the Two Towers Sarah and Henry will have an epic showdown at Helms Deep.

It's going to be awesome and it will be so mind-blowing that your head will explode when you see it." Dennis nodded and the screen faded to black.

* * *

The words "**Making Non-Mary Sues**." Appeared on the screen.

The actress who played Emma Auckland came up and the words 'Lucy Page' appeared on the left side of the screen. The Emyn Muil rocks were behind her.

"There are so many horrific Mary-Sue stories out there and one of the main ideas of creating Emma and Sarah was to have a story without that perfect element to the characters.

They get tired, they get annoyed, they get sick without being mortally wounded. It makes them more real and less annoying."

The scene change to some marsh lands with a blue screen in the background.

"Girlses has the sniffled yes. Poor little girlses!" said Gollum, gleefully.

"Shut Up!" yelled Emma, sniffling. She felt like pushing him into the marshes to be eaten by the ghost lake things.

The scene changed to the golden hall again.

"It's a lot harder to play a non-mary sue but it's much more enjoyable to watch." Said Carrey Willis.

The scene changed to Sarah, Merlin and Arthur hanging off the boat that had fallen into the river. Sarah tried to get up but then slipped. Arthur laughed.

The screen changed to the Rohan dungeon.

"That scene from the fellowship when we fell into the river was awful because the water freezing." Bradley said, Colin nodded.

The scene changed back to the Golden hall.

"Eh, I don't like to talk about the scene it was so cold." Said Carrey Willis.

The screen changed back to the river scene.

"How's it my fault?" said Arthur. Sarah never said her line because she slipped and fell back into the water.

"Ugh." Said Bradley.

The Screen changed to a make-up trailer with a make-artist facing the camera.

"I love that there are no Mary-Sues in this fic. We had one scene in the last chapter with the nightmare sue and poor Olivia Wilson was in here for five hours."

The screen showed Olivia Wilson in a chair being sue-afied.

"Even with all the work we did, Olivia still had to have some of her face CGIed to make her look like a sue." The make-up artist said flustered.

The screen showed Sarah and Olivia in a wooden glade. A camera moved behind them.

The screen than changed to Olivia, who looked normal now, sitting on a rock in the woodlen glade.

"I don't think I'll ever be a Mary-Sue again.

The poor make-up people spent hours on me and then the special effects people spent days on me. I don't think it's worth it." Olivia said shaking her head.

* * *

The Screen faded to black and The Author of DOOM appeared with the Edoras set behind her.

"Well, I hope you enjoyed that behind the scenes look and the next chapter should be up soon. I don't know if there will be another one of these blogs.

It all depends on what you guys think of it. So I'm going to go write some more of the next chapter and I will see you later."

The screen went dark and the program of epic doom ended.


	7. Some Questions of DOOM

Hi Guys! Don't worry this is NOT a message to tell you that I'm done with the Lotr Crossover of DOOM. Because it's too awesome not to finish. I'm sorry for the long wait but I had to apply to college. But I'm done applying now! Yay! Wish me luck on getting in so I can write about the adventures of Emma and Sarah in some place that is awesome. The next chapter is at about 2,000 words but still needs editing. I want it to be longer though and I have some decisions to make on where I'm taking the story. That's where you come in. Since you are the awesome audience of DOOM, I thought I would ask you about what you want to see. So if you could answer these questions the next chapter will come out quicker. You can also add stuff that I didn't ask about. :D

What do you think of my new Bad Guy? Redeem, Kill, Keep being a baddy?

How fast do you want Sarah/Merlin/Arthur to get back together?

Sarah/Arthur/Merlin: What do you think of their friendship? Should it stay where it is or go past first base with one of them?

The Rohirim Guards: Hana is my OC. (Hama is a diffirent person because I did have someone ask it they were the same. He hangs out with Theoden) Do you like him? Would you like more Rohan OCs?

Emma: Stay with Faramir or on to Mount Doom?

Do you want to see scenes that don't include Sarah/Emma/Merlin/Arthur?

Thanks guys!

~The Author of DOOM


	8. The Fifth Chapter of DOOM

The wind blew through the grass on the stark plains of Rohan. The silence over the ancient hills was complete save for the voice of one exuberant American.

"I'm bored." Sarah Jones groaned into her phone. She was sitting on a hill waiting for the Rohirim to return from slaughtering the Uruk-Kai. The Sun was going down and the plains were getting dark. She was bored out of her mind but had been firmly told by Hana and Eomer to stay in one place while they went off to finish the evil dudes. She would have disobeyed but Sarah didn't fancy getting lost on the dark plains of Rohan.

"How can you possibly be bored? You've fallen into a book along with King Arthur and Merlin, and now you're riding with the Riders of Rohan." Emma said, incredulously. "Be glad your not walking through a bog filled with dead people." Emma glared at the muck. They had just entered the marshes and she was trying to find a place to sleep that wasn't suspiciously squishy or inhabited by something nasty.

"The dead marshes are cool! They're really dangerous but at least you have stuff to do rather then wait on a hill."

"Why don't you play Tetris on your phone? Besides I would love to sit on a non-muddy, non-smelly hill in Rohan." Emma said, poking the mushy ground. Gollum snickered behind her.

"Nice girlses would rather be eaten by orcses?" He questioned.

"Shut up, you!" Emma said, whirling around to hit the slimy creature, but he quickly slinked away. The bog had done nothing but make her more irritated at Gollum.

"That and not having to deal with Gollum." She said into the phone.

Sarah laughed. "You're not getting on well. Are you?"

"You can say that again." Emma muttered. Thunder rolled in the distance, Emma looked over her shoulder to look at the black clouds of Mordor. She knew that her relationship with Gollum would only get worse, especially when he tried to feed her to Shelob.

"Lady Sarah!" came a voice from Sarah's side of the phone.

"I gotta go Emma, have fun in the swamp. Don't get eaten by swamp monsters." Sarah said quickly.

"Hey!" Emma called, but Sarah hung up the phone. The Florida girl shook her head and put the phone in her pocket. It was good to hear what Sarah was up to but she had her own problems to focus on. Sarah had told her that she decided not to interfere with events but Emma was not so sure. After all, without her help Sam would have been choked to death. After mentally debating whether or not she should help out more she decided to meddle in events unlike Sarah. For example, she was not going to let Frodo get poisoned by a giant spider and hoped that they could avoid venturing into the tower of Cirith Ungol.

"Emma." Sam said, walking over to her. "You best get some sleep, you don't want to stumble in this bog because you're tired."

"I'm going to. I was just checking on Sarah." Emma replied, smiling at the hobbits concern.

"How is she?" Sam asked.

"She's fine. It us we need to worry about. She has a whole company of Rohirim to keep her safe." Emma got up and stood beside Sam. They looked over at the mountains of Mordor. Emma towered over the hobbit and yet they had identical expressions of apprehension as they looked at the dark clouds. Emma hated looking at them and decided to try and break the silence. "Did you find a non-muddy place to sleep?"

Sam looked away and snorted. "Best I could find. It's still a bit soggy."

Emma groaned. "Why did we have to go through this damn swamp? I get that orcs will never think to look here but it will all be for naught it we get eaten by swamp monsters or alligators." Emma then remembered Sam had no clue what an alligator was. "They're big lizard like things from Florida."

"I'll kill that stinker if we find any of those things in here." Sam said, he may have been joking but Emma knew that he probably would.

"I'll help out with that." Emma and Sam both smiled.

"Come on then, we need our strength if were going to throttle that miserable creature." Sam said, his mood was lighter then before. Emma followed him to the unsquishiest spot they could find.

* * *

"Lady Sarah!" The Rohan soldier called again. Sarah had no idea why the soldiers had started calling her Lady. Maybe it was because she was a girl, but it was more likely because Eomer had taken her in.

"I'm right here!" she called. Sarah got up and waved to the bearded horse master.

"Lord Eomer says you can rejoin the company." The guard said, motioning her to follow him. The American ran down the hill and the two trudged epically up another grassy hill to the third marshal of the Ridemark.

"How did the raid go?" Sarah asked.

"The orcs are dead but we lost two of our own." The guard said, as he led her up the hill. Sarah suddenly felt panicked.

"Is Hanna…?" Sarah started but was cut off by the sound of her favorite Rohan guard.

"Don't Worry, I'm alive." Hana held a torch at the top of the hill. Sarah breathed a sigh of relief. She had known the guard for a short time but he had become her friend and she didn't want to loose him. Especially, after leaving Merlin and Arthur. Hana looked a bit battered but was not mortally wounded.

"Don't you go dying on me! None of the other guards will teach me how to use a sword." Sarah scolded.

The guard behind her shook his head. The guards would have, after all it wouldn't hurt to train a girl when orcs were everywhere, but the girl was a bit insane. Hana seemed to be the only one that could roughly translate what she was saying.

"I'll do my best, but the orcs don't make it easy." Hana said, giving a small smile. "Thank You, Dúnhere. I'll take the girl from here." Dúnhere nodded in respect and then left to join a group of men.

The two epically trudged up another hill of doom.

"Ah, Sarah. You'll be glad to here that the orcs were destroyed." Eomer greeted from the top of the epic hill of doom.

"Yep, Always glad to hear about evil minions getting killed." Sarah said.

Eomer smiled grimly, he had blood epically splattered on his face. "You're brave for one so small. Come, We'll ride a bit further before we make camp. I cannot sleep smelling the foul stench of orcs."

"Why don't you just use some febreeze?" asked Sarah.

"I would use that if I knew what it was or had it." Said Eomer. "Ride with Hana, we won't go too far."

* * *

"You know what, I've decided that we should take an easy pace." Sarah said. It was the morning after the raid on the Uruk-Kai. The two had fallen behind the others. Sarah, unlike many mary-sue's, did not magically know how to ride a horse. The horsemen had been horrified when she told them she had stopped taking riding lessons when she twelve. Hana was charged with teaching her immediately.

Hana laughed. "You shouldn't be frightened of falling. Just hold tight and you'll stay on."

"How do you know that? What if the horse trips, or gets spooked by something." Sarah protested.

"Sarah." Hana began. "Look that way." The guard pointed out to the plains of Rohan.

"What word would you use to described those plains?" he asked.

"Flatness." Sara said flatly.

"And over there?" Hana questioned.

"More flatness."

"Your horse is not going to trip." Hana said, smugly. His point proven.

"Neh…" Sarah said, grudgingly.

"Come, the rest of the company will be wondering where we are." Hana said, ignoring Sarah's neh.

The horseman and American then heard a shout from behind a near by hill. Hana turned and saw a Rohirim riding toward them.

She squinted at the new dark haired Rohirim. 'What was his name, again?' she thought to herself. 'Ha… no.. Dún… no… The… no. .' It was a real pain trying to learn their names because they all started with h, t, d, e, and g. 'Why can't they have names like Jeff! Or Bob? Bob the Rohirim doesn't sound that bad! And you can remember it!'

"Hana!" the nameless horse master shouted. "Where have you been? We thought you had been ambushed by orcs."

"No, our American friend is simply very slow." Hana laughed.

"I resent that! If I could drive I would… Eh… I'm not even going there." Sarah, then wished Merlin and Arthur were here. They were much easier to make fun of, the Rohirim could actually come up with counter attacks. Hana and the guard ignored her as they had more epic things to talk about.

"Come, quickly! Lord Eomer has found three strange travellers and suggests you post pone young Sarah's training. No matter how important it may be." The guard said.

'Aragorn!' Sarah thought. 'Yes! One step closer to kicking Wormy's but.'

"Of course, It's about time Sarah put her new skills to the test." Hana grinned evilly at her.

Sarah groaned. 'Stupid bearded guard horse person…'

"She's gone." Arthur said, sounding hoarse. He was still standing where he had been when Grima had told him of Sarah's death.

Merlin slid down the stone wall and put hid head in his hands.

"No…" Arthur said, in barely a whisper. His anger then rose to the surface and he kicked the wall. "NO!"

Arthur was so mad he couldn't find offensive enough curse words to damn Wormetoungue.

"I will kill him… I swear there will be nothing left of him…" Arthur trailed off, not being able to finish his thought.

Arthur had only known her for about three months but she was nice. Nice in a world filled a world filled with creatures like Grima Wormtoungue. She was happy and completely insane but in a good way. Arthur then missed Camelot… a lot. He wondered what his father was doing. Probably out of his mind and ordering search parties to search all of Albion. He wondered if he would ever see Camelot again or if he could even find it. He and Merlin had been thrown into a world where they were completely lost but Sarah had been their guide. She was gone and Arthur and Merlin were left in the dark.

He looked over at Merlin, who looked devastated.

"Arthur." Merlin's voice was cracking, his eyes were slightly read. "We are going to get out of here and we are not going to stop until this dark lord is gone."

* * *

Gimli was slightly concerned that horsemen who were pointing spears in his face were surrounding the mini-fellowship.

One of the horsemen rode into the circle, looking very epic and intimidating.

"What business does an Elf, Man, and a Dwarf have in the Ridemark." Eomer said, in his tough Rohirim voice. "Speak Quickly!" He added.

"Give me your name horse master and I shall give you mine." Gimli said. Aragorn grimaced. The dwarf wasn't backing down despite the clear advantage of the Rohirim.

Eomer, looking very annoyed, jumped off his horse and walked up to Gimli.

"I would cut off your head, dwarf, if it stood but a little higher from the ground." He said, coldly. He was in a bad mood today. Mostly because he had been outlawed but also because Sarah refused to wake up that morning, which resulted in lost time and sanity.

Legolas wasn't having any of it because he was also in a bad mood since he had been running a marathon for three days straight. Nobody was going to insult his dwarf friend. He epically pointed an arrow at Eomer's head.

"You would die before your stroke fell!"

The spears came closer to the mini fellowships heads. Aragorn grabbed Legolas' bow arm and sent him a look that clearly said. 'Dude! Would you please not get us all stabbed to death!'

The spears lowered but Legolas kept glaring at the horse master. Gimli let out a breath and raised his hands in surrender.

"I am Aragorn, Son of Arathorn."Aragorn said, glad not to be stabbed. "This is Gimli son of Gloin and Legolas of the Woodland realm."

Legolas had his angry face on. Eomer's face was not angry but more annoyed that the pretty elf had tried to mess up his face.

Aragorn tried to take Eomer's attention away from Legolas' angry face. "We are friends of Rohan and of Theoden, your king."

Eomer looked down, this was still a touchy subject for him. "Theoden no longer recognizes friend from foe." He epically took off his helmet. "Not even his own kin."

The spears were pulled back from the three's faces and the tension seemed to fade away. The Rohirim awesome song also went away and the mood seem to lighten.

"Saruman has poisoned the mind of the king and claimed lordship over his lands. My company and I are loyal to Rohan and for that we are banished." Eomer said. Aragorn looked concerned.

"The white wizard is cunning. He walks here and there they say. As an old man, hooded and cloaked. And every where his spies slip past our nets."

"We are not spies. We track a party of Urukai westward across the plane. They've taken two of our friends captive."

"The Uruks are destroyed. We slaughtered them during the night."

Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli looked devastated.

"Did you see two hobbits!" Gimli piped up.

"They would be small, only children to your eyes." Aragorn said.

"Are hobbits from a land called America?" Eomer asked.

Aragorn sent him a look that said. 'You've got to be kidding me.'

"Lord Eomer!" came the voice of the nameless guard from the outside of the circle. "I found them!"

"Aragorn!" Sarah pushed her way into the center of the circle. "You've no idea how good it is to see you!" The American hugged him.

The future king of Gondor gaped at her. "I told you to go back to Lorien."

"Errr, yes you did." Sarah said, pulling away from him and looking guilty.

"Then why are you in the plains of Rohan." Aragorn asked, sternly.

"I sort of got lost." Sarah said lamely.

"You got lost?" Aragorn asked incredulously. "All you had to do was go back up the river."

"Yea, long story involving evil river monsters and piranhas." Sarah said.

Aragorn looked skeptical but still wondered what kind of horrible creature a piranha was. Then he realized that she was alone. "Where are Merlin and Arthur?"

Sarah frowned, still hating the fact that her friends were captured by wormy the perv.

"They were captured. One of my men was able to rescue her before Grima Wormtoungue, the snake who is poisoning the mind of the king, interrogated her. Her friends were not so lucky, they are still locked in the dungeon." Eomer said. "I take it you have met before?"

"Yes, we found her trapped in the halls of Moria. She has been troublesome…" Aragorn sent her a look. Sarah grimaced and looked at the ground. "but she helps lighten these dark times. I thank you for keeping our friend safe."

Eomer nodded. "Think none of it. I would never leave a defenseless girl at the hands of that worm."

"Yes, but are you sure you have not seen two hobbits?" Gimli asked, concerned.

"I'm not entirely sure…" started Hana, as he walked into the center of the circle. "but I believe I saw two figures running into Fangorn forest during our attack."

'Yes!' thought Sarah. 'Mission accomplished!' Just before the Rohirim left her she hinted to Hana about the strange trees in Fangorn forest. She hoped he would pay attention to it and prevent the mini fellowship from despairing over the hobbits.

"Thank You." Aragorn said. "We must press on. I don't wish to leave the hobbits on their own."

"Of course." Said Eomer. He whistled and two horses appeared.

"Good luck finding your friends but be weary. These lands are darkening and hope is slowly fading away."

"Sarah." Eomer called. She looked up at the horse master. "I leave you to your friends. Be careful and don't ever go near that worm again. I'm glad we met and I hope one day to hear more about the strange lands of America."

"I'll tell you about the wonders of the internet to." Sarah smiled.

"I look forward to it." He smiled. "Farewell."

"Make sure she keeps learning how to ride." Came a voice behind Sarah. She turned to she her favorite Rohan Guard, Hana.

"We'll do out best." Said Aragorn

"I'll try not to be so slow." Sarah smiled.

"Good, one day you'll be able to ride faster then a snail." Hana didn't laugh but he was clearly amused.

However, Sarah was not. "Really?" she asked, incredulously.

"Aye, Good Luck Sarah of America!" With that the Rohirim rode north.

* * *

Author's Note: Hope you enjoyed the chapter! Sorry for the wait. Sarah will be back with Merlin and Arthur in the next chapter. :D

Review and the story will be up faster!


	9. The Sixth Chapter of DOOM

I'm sorry that this took sooo loong! I had to get a new laptop and then get open office and nehhhh. Sorry. Anyways. Here's the next chapter! Yay! Enjoy! Helms Deep is coming up soon.

* * *

"How exactly do you keep your hair so pretty?" Sarah asked. She was sitting behind on him on Arod staring at his insanely shiny blonde hair. Aragorn and Gimli rode beside them on Hasufel.

Legolas looked confused. "I don't understand. What is meant by pretty? " Legolas asked.

"Uhhh… fair? I mean you've been running for your days and it's perfect."

The elf then smirked at her. "That is one of the gifts of the elfkind."

"Hang on. Your immortal, have eternal youth, are an elven prince, can kick orc but without breaking a sweat, and now your hair is eternally perfect? What is wrong with you?"

The elf didn't respond. The two horses then rode over a hill and spotted a small mountain of Uruk parts.

The American wrinkled her nose and wished for a nice can of Lysol.

"Agh, I could have lived without smelling that foul stench." Noted Gimli

Aragorn grunted in agreement and spurred on his horse towards the pile. The American and the elf followed close behind.

When they reached the pile the scene played out differently then Sarah remembered. She was thankful not to suffer through the mini-fellowships angst while she new the hobbits were alive. The ranger immeditaly looked for the hobbits tracks and with his epic ranger skills he found them.

"They ran away from the battle just as the guard said!" Aragorn said, his voice filled with hope. The American, Elf, and Dwarf ran after the ranger.

"Their tracks lead this way to…" Aragorn trailed off, staring at the menacing trees.

"the dark, creepy forest." Sarah finished. Fangorn actually scared her, despite Ents being one of her favorite races… or plants. The trees were gnarled and amazingly tall. There was no forest like this back on earth.

"What madness drove them there." Gimli asked, still staring at the trees.

Sarah took in a deep breath. 'Trees don't scare me! Especially Ents that I like! Well, there are scary trees that want to kill me… but I'm not going to think about that!' she thought. She had to go into the dark forest to get bleached Gandalf so she could save her friends. Sarah was going to get them out of the Rohan dungeon as soon as she possibly could.

"Well, I imagine the Uruks did. They do have this thing about eating people that's rather disturbing." The american said and then plunged into the gnarled branches on Fangorn forest.

Gimli sighed as the three hunters stared at the spot Sarah had just been.

"I can't tell if she's mad or brave." The dwarf muttered.

"I imagine it's both." Legolas said.

Aragorn gave the two a half smile before following the American into the old forest.

* * *

Sarah stared up at the gigantic tree's with wonder. How in the heck did they get to be so tall?

Suddenly a groaning noise echoed all around her.

"I come in peace!" Sarah yelled.

"Sarah." Aragorn whispered urgently.

The American turned to the ranger.

"I know it is difficult but please keep quiet." Aragorn said quietly.

"I can be quiet." Sarah said indignantly.

The trees groaned around her as if to say "yea right".

Aragorn sighed. "Just don't speak for a while."

Sarah sighed and followed closely behind the ranger.

Suddenly Aragorn held out a hand to stop her as he walked next to Legolas.

"What?" Sarah asked.

The elf stepped back towards the girl. Sarah looked at him suspiciously as he whispered in her ear.

"Run when I turn around."

'Ohhhh... bleached Gandalf is finally back.' Sarah thought.

Aragorn took a step back next to Legolas.

"What do you see?" He asked.

"The white wizard approaches." He said quietly and motioned behind him with his elfy eyes.

The ranger sighed and grasped his sword.

"Do not let him speak. He will put a spell upon us." he murmured.

Gimli gripped his axe and Sarah prepared to run. She didn't really need to but it would make the three feel better.

The three turned around epically and Sarah bounded out of the clearing. She ran behind a tree and blinked as really bright light engulfed the forrest.

'Man thats some strong bleach!' Sarah thought.

She waited a while and waited until Gandalf reveled himself. She smiled after Gandalf finished his tale of fighting the Balrog and decided to come out.

"Ah, there you are." Gandalf said as Sarah approached. "I learned much about you in my travels."

"Really?" Sarah asked, in surprise. He did travel through space and time but she had no idea that he would learn where she was really from.

"You, have not entirely told the truth." He told her sternly. "But I suppose none of us would have believed the truth." The wizard then walked over and put his hand on her shoulder.

"You need not fear your knowledge. Trust your instincts and you may save many lives."

Sarah smiled and hugged the wizard.

"You are the best old man ever!"

The three laughed and Gandalf sighed but still smiled.

"Come, we have a long night ahead of is. Merlin and Arthur should not have to wait much longer in Theoden's dungeon."

"To the Horse People Capitol!" Sarah yelled and charged out of the forest.

* * *

Sarah had her hood pulled up since she was technically an Outlaw by the order of Grima Wormetoungue. She was also completely silent as Gandalf had ordered not to make a sound. It had definitely been a very long night and her but was sore. However, Merlin and Arthur were about to be freed so it was all worth it.

Aragorn and Legolas stood in front of her. She lowered her head as the guards approached.

"I cannot let you enter the hall so armed." Said Hama, the awesome captain of the guard.

Gandalf nodded and the bearded guards stepped forward.

Gimli reluctantly gave up his axe with a pained look on his face. Legolas twirled his daggers epically with his angry face. The guard in front of Legolas stepped back.

The American snorted but was immediately silenced from an annoyed look from the white wizard.

"Your Staff?" Hama said.

"You wouldn't deny an old man his walking stick." Gandalf asked, looking completely innocent of having a magical stick of Doom. Sarah smirked.

Hama paused but nodded his approval.

Gandalf winked at Aragorn but then turned to Sarah.

"Peregrin, would you mind checking on the horses?" Gandalf asked.

'Peregrin!' Sarah thought. 'You did not just call me Pippin. Well, I guess I don't mind that much…'

Sarah grunted in response since she was not allowed to talk.

"Good…" he turned to the guard. "I wouldn't bother giving him an escort. Poor child is mute."

Hama looked suspicious but nodded again.

The four hero's went into the hall while Sarah decided to go exploring rather then sit in the barn. After wandering around and being bored of angry looking peasants, she went back to sit in front of the Golden Hall. Normally, she would have been happy to explore the fictional city but today Sarah just wanted to rescue her friends. She tried texing Emma but she didn't respond. The American assumed she was either trying to kill Gollum or in a particularly squishy part of the dead marshes. After a while sitting in front of the hall got boring to.

'Maybe I will go check on the horses.' Sarah thought. She walked down the front steps slowly before stopping and looking out at the plains. It was so big and quiet…

"RAGHH!" came a voice behind her. Sarah jumped out of the way before Grima Wormetoungue could be thrown on top of her. Her hood flew off.

"You!" Grima yelled. He lunged at her with a dagger, intending to really finish her off this time.

Sarah yelled but then Wormtoungue was blasted twenty feet away from her.

'Wait, what?' Sarah thought. 'Magical blasting… Merlin!'

The American turned around to see her favorite young warlock running towards her. The warlock slammed into her and gave her a gigantic hug.

"Your Alive!" he yelled. "We thought you were dead. Grima told us he had killed you and..." Merlin trailed off and just hugged more tightly.

"I'm okay. Merlin, I'm seriously fine. Hana and Eomer got me out before he could do anything." Sarah said.

The American pulled away and then realized that he had tears in his eyes.

"Oh, God. That... worm." Sarah seethed and hugged Merlin again.

"WHERE IS HE!" roared Arthur as he stormed out of the Golden Hall. "I'll kill him!"

"Wait!" Yelled Theoden from behind the prince. "That worm has poisoned my mind and nearly destroyed my kingdom. I shall deal with him."

Arthur, still angry, nodded and let the king pass. It was then that he saw Sarah alive and still being crushed by Merlin.

He ran down the stair and a manly tear ran down his face. Sarah looked up and smiled.

"Come on guys. Don't cry. I'm okay! I can't deal with you lot crying." Sarah then got up and hugged Arthur. The prince also nearly smushed the girl.

"Air!" Sarah wheezed.

"Oh, sorry." Arthur put her down and the three all smiled at each other.

* * *

Later that night the three were all eating in the Golden hall. The others were discussing the war and having other plot essential dialogue. However, the American and the Camelot residents just wanted to eat. Merlin and Arthur because they had eaten moldy bread for the past week and Sarah because she had ridden all night on a horse without food.

"Wait, so how did you guys get out of the dungeon so fast?" Sarah asked, realizing that they shouldn't have gotten to her that fast.

"One of the guards that was loyal to Eomer came and released us as soon as Gandalf walked into the hall. He apparently knew that we would be freed as soon as the worm was gone." Arthur said.

"That and he thought the worm was a horrible slime ball." Merlin added.

"Everyone thinks hes a horrible slime ball." Sarah said, gnawing on a piece of bread.

"Well, Everyone except that other wizard... What's his name again?' Arthur asked.

"Saruman, except he's a horrible slime ball to." Sarah said, and smiled slightly.

"I think everyone evil is a slime ball." Merlin added.

"Merlin, your putting me off my food. Now, shut up." Arthur said.

"Why does every conversation we have end with you telling him to shut it?" Sarah asked, genuinely curious.

"Because... he talks way too much."

"I do not." Merlin said indifferently.

"Yes you do." Arthur said, leaning back in his chair.

"No..."

"Arthur, Merlin. Shut up." Sarah interrupted before returning to the nice bowl of soup in front of her.

The prince and warlock gave each other a look before they stole Sarah's bread and ran for it.

"Hey! Get back here!"

The American chased after the British bread thieves while the Rohirim guards looked on in amusement.


	10. The Seventh Chapter of DOOM

**Author's Note:**

Hey Everyone! Sorry for the wait! I know it's been a year. Sorry about that. I'm back though! I hope you're ready for Helm's Deep! Also special thanks to my sister Megan for betaing this chapter. For some reason she insisted in reading Gandalf in a southern accent. However, that is not how I intended Gandalf to sound. Enjoy!

* * *

"FOR NARNIA AND FOR ASLAN!" Sarah yelled, overly dramatic as she charged Arthur with a sword. The prince rolled his eyes and smiled as he easily side stepped the attack. The American then majestically tripped over a tuft of grass and rolled down a small hill. Arthur had decided to continue training her with a sword. There were far too many slime balls in the world and the crazy girl was bound to challenge all of them. The other members of the fellowship were busy inside having epic dialogue and were convincing Theoden to ride out to war. Merlin sat on a hill smiling at his two friends. Everything was getting back to normal and the three had spent the time bantering about how stupid Arthur was. Sarah had also tried to convince the Rohirim to give her modern clothes back. However, they seemed to have been misplaced them in a fire. Something about witchcraft and smelling awful.

"Come on, that was pitiful." Arthur said, As he walked down the hill. He picked up the Rohan sword that she had dropped after her charge.

"Mph." Sarah groaned as the prince stood over her. "Do I get points for my battle cry?" She asked.

"No, as I have no idea what it meant. Now get up." The prince tossed her sword next to her and walked a few feet away.

Sword fighting was hard despite being epic. She pushed herself off the ground and grabbed her sword. She then tried to get back into her stance that Arthur had taught her.

"Remember, keep yourself balanced. You fall over far too much." He said, as he raised his sword. "Relax your grip and raise your arm a bit."

Sarah shifted and pushed her annoying cloak out the way. When she was ready she nodded at Arthur.

"Okay, Come at me Bro." Sarah said, preparing for a humiliating defeat. The legends didn't lie about Arthur being the greatest warrior in Camelot.

The prince then struck with his sword and the American barely had time to parry.

'Haha! I parried one blow! Score!' Sarah though triumphantly.

Arthur sent the next blow to her left side, which Sarah parried yet again. The next came again at her head, which she then ducked and she spun behind the prince. Taking the offensive for once she sent a blow towards his side. The prince then expertly turned and parried. The American was caught off guard and was soon on the ground again.

"Why?" Sarah groaned. "Why do I have friends that enjoy knocking me over?"

"Come on, it's not as if your not used to falling on the ground." Arthur said smiling. "It should be second nature to you now." He then offered the American a hand up.

Sarah merely glared at him from the ground for a moment before allowing herself to be pulled up.

"You're not bad though." Encouraged Arthur. "Far better then Merlin is. Though most people are." he said pointing back at the warlock.

Merlin rolled his eyes. He had other ways to protect himself. Who needs a sword when you can just raise your hand and magically blast people backwards.

The American shrugged. "At least he's less of a prat than you are." She then broke into a run as Arthur chased after her with his sword.

"Get back here! I'm not done with your training yet!" He yelled in an annoyed voice.

"Training normally doesn't involve chasing after people!" Sarah yelled back.

Merlin just laughed. It was good to have Sarah back.

Sarah then ran over another hill and almost knocked over a Rohan guard that had come to tell them that they were wanted in the throne room. Something about getting ready to go to a place called Helms Deep.

* * *

"Helms Deep!" said Gimli, irritated. "They flee to the mountains when they should stand and fight! Who will defend them if not their king?"

The Elf, Man, Dwarf, and wizard walked with a purpose through the streets of Rohan into the barn.

"He is only doing what he thinks best for his people. Helms Deep has saved them in the past." Aragorn said, understandingly as he walked through the doors of the great stable of doom.

"There is no way out of that ravine. Theoden is walking into a trap. He thinks he's leading them to safety. What they will get is a massacre. Theoden has a strong will but I fear for him. I fear for the survival of Rohan." Gandalf said gravely.

There was then and epic shot of Aragorn's face, which looked troubled by this epic dialogue.

"He will need you before the end, Aragorn. The people of Rohan will need you. The defences have to hold."

"They will hold."

"There is also another matter, which I wish to speak to you of. I learned much of the American before I was sent back. She knows much of the future and may be of some use in the coming battle. Keep her out of harms way but do not let her be sent where she can offer no counsel." Gandalf said.

The ranger nodded and Gandalf moved to Shadofax's side. The epic white horse looked like he was ready to go.

"The grey pilgrim, that's what they used to call me. Three hundred lives of men I have walked this earth and now I have no time." the wizard said darkly and slightly annoyed. Epic wars with orcs always seemed to make time go faster.

"With luck, my search will not be in vain." Gandalf said as Aragorn opened the gate. "Look to my coming at first light on the fifth day. At dawn, Look to the east."

"Go." said Aragorn. The wizard really needed to get moving so he could get aid. That thing about wizards never being late was not going to cut it this time.

Shadofax then nearly ran over Legolas and Gimli as Gandalf epically rode off into the plains of Rohan.

* * *

Meanwhile in a clearing surrounded by a wooded area, clouds moved over the sun epically and thunder boomed ominously in the distance. Suddenly there was a crack and a giant bolt of lightning struck the center of said random clearing. A cloud of smoke obscured the clearing and the camera panned down to reveal a red headed man stumbling towards the trees. His orange suit was covered in soot and was ripped almost to shreds.

"What the hell?" He said, in a gravelly voice that was similar to Batman's.

He coughed and observed his surroundings. However, the wooded area did not reveal much about why he had been deposited here by lighting. He should have been dead and part of the nitrogen system.

'How did I escape the prison?' He wondered. The doctor had assured him that after he had broken into the Pentagon that he would never leave the plain walls of the prison. He had also promised that he would never taste a Frappucino ever again. The latter was a far worse punishment. The red head did not get to further contemplate his situation much longer before several orcs appeared from the woods.

"You!" shouted one of the more ugly orcs. Not that they weren't all ugly but this one was particularly gross. His name was Gluckcore and he was recently demoted from captain of the extremely ugly orcs (apparently he was too ugly even for them), which had put him in a foul mood.

"Are you the one they call Henry Iowa?" the orc asked.

"Who wants to know?" asked the red head rather rudely. Though, to be fair being dumped on a planet by lightning tends to make people a bit grumpy. He was also rather confused by the orc. However, after his run in with the doctor and meeting several alien species he was not overly freaked out.

"My master has a proposistion for you. One that may give you access to... what was it?" Cluckcore turned to his fellow orc.

"Frapp... Frappunos?" The other orc suggested.

"That would be Frappucino." Came a cold and deep voice.

Saruman the wizard of many colors, despite still sticking to his white attire, stepped into view of the camera.

"I have forseen your coming and know that you could be of great help. In return, I will be able to build a Starbucks with help from the ring of power." he said and smiled at the red head. It was really quite creepy.

"The one ring can build Starbucks?" asked Henry. "Seriously?"

"The ring can do many things, Henry Iowa of Canada, but only if you agree to help my cause." Saruman stated.

"What must I do to secure the endless supply of Frappucinos?" Asked Henry.

"I understand that you have certain information that you obtained from books in your world." Saruman said. "All I ask is that you tell me what I need to know to win this war."

"Very well." Smiled Henry evilly. "We can start by sending out the warg riders."

* * *

The next day Sarah was on a horse again. Luckily she didn't have to drive it as there were not enough horses and she was told to sit behind Merlin. Sarah was unimpressed with this since Rohan was supposed to be the home of the horse lords. Surely they would have enough horses for everyone. Arthur rode beside them on his own horse. Apparently because he was a prince that meant he got a horse despite the horse shortage.

"I'm bored." Sarah said, boredly. There wasn't really much to do when you rode in a line with refugees. The scenery was spectacular but Sarah had already spent hours looking at it with the Howard Shore soundtrack playing in her head. She had also tried hard to figure out what to do about Helms Deep. After the whole wormtoungue deal she doubted that the Camelot residents would let her near the fighting. Howver, she really didn't like the idea of waiting in a cave while Merlin and Arthur fought the giant army of Orcs on steroids. Arthur would probably call that payback for Wormtoungue telling them that she was dead.

"Shall we play I spy then?" asked Merlin.

"Yes! I spy something with a beard." Sarah smiled.

"Is it a rohan guard?" asked Merlin.

"Nope." Sarah said, popping the P.

"Is it Gimli?"

"Yes, yes it is."

"I spy something blonde."

"Uh, Is it a Guard?" Sarah asked.

"No"

"Arthur?"

"No"

"Eowyn?"

"No."

"Hana?"

"He counts as a Rohan guard." Merlin chuckled.

"Well, I don't see Legolas! Whose the blondest of them all!"

"I do."

"Where?" Sarah asked frustrated.

"Doesn't that defeat the purpose of the game? You're supposed to find what the other person sees." Merlin quipped.

Sarah looked around and finally found Legolas on a far away hill.

"I found him! Also that's really not fair. He's like a mile away." Sarah complained.

"You never said the object had to be close to you." Merlin said, smirking.

"Stupid wizard." Sarah mumbled.

"I heard that." Merlin said, looking behind him at her.

Sarah just smiled at him.

Suddenly Aragorn came running down the column. "Wargs! Were under Attack!"

'Not this, This isn't cannon.' Sarah sighed.

"Sarah, Get off the horse!" Arthur yelled as he rode up to them. "You are to assist Eowyn in leading the people to Helms deep."

"I'm not leaving you two!" Sarah protested.

"I'm not risking your life. We thought you almost died and I am not putting you in that position after we just got you back."

Sarah sighed but decided that now was not the best time to argue. She dismounted and luckily did not fall over. "If you two die I will bring you back and kill you again!" She said pointed at each of them.

"Understood." said Arthur gravely. Sarah watched as the two rode off.

"It's really irritating to be left behind." She said to herself.

"Yes, It is a burden that all women must bear." said Eowyn from behind her. "One day we may fight alongside them but not today."

Sarah nodded and sighed before turning to follow Eowyn.

"Yo People of Rohan! Calm down! It'll be fine!" Sarah shouted. "Just follow me and the blonde lady and it'll all be good!"

The people just looked confused and still terrified.

"Helms Deep is not far!" said Eowyn, giving a much better speech. "We must move quickly! Come!"

The people then started to stop hypervenalating and followed the two women. The walk was not long and Sarah spent it being worried about her two friends.

* * *

Legolas epically shot and arrow across the battlefield into and orc's throat. Merlin had to say that was extremely impressive as he and Arthur rode towards the elf.

The tension built as the armies prepared to smash into each other. Legolas added to this tention by epically swinging himself onto a galloping horse.

Merlin glared at the orcs. They were incredibly ugly and they were on wargs, which by a strange coincidence are also incredibly ugly. Evil seems to have a thing for ugly things. They take internal beauty more seriously. Well, not really... the whole slaughter millions thing isn't that nice or pretty.

The moment of epicness arrived when the orcs smashed into the Rohirim. Merlin was suddenly thrown from his horse. Luckiky, he fell on a big tuft of grass and did not hurt his spleen. He also lost his sword, which wasn't really that much help to him anyway.

It was not long before an orc came up to him and Merlin responded to blasting it back. The orc howled as it was thrown against a rock, which made a sickening crack. Merlin continued to blast orcs and eventually found another sword. Arthur as usual took no notice of him. Although he was rather preoccupied with several large orcs himself.

The crown prince was hacking and slashing like there was no tomorrow. The orcs didn't stand a chance. Then suddenly a warg climbed onto a rock and leered at Arthur. The prince looked slightly alarmed at this development and raised his sword. The warg then readied himself to jump.

Merlin ran as quickly as he could towards the scene and cast a spell on the beast. The warg began itching manicacly and whining in pain. Athur then jumped on the rock and stabbed it in the face.

Merlin gave a sigh of relief and was unaware of an orc that was sneaking up behind him.

Arthur looked up and saw Merlin just standing their.

"Merlin!" he shouted.

The warlock turned but before he could raise any defence, Arthur threw his sword and the blade went through the orc's throat.

"Pay attention! You idiot!" The prince shouted.

Merlin didn't respond and continued to watch Arthur's back. He was probably never going to get any credit for saving Arthur.

The battle slowed and the remaining orcs were cut down.

Merlin panted as he walked with Arthur towards Legolas, Gimli, and Theoden. The two were standing by a cliff for some reason.

Arthur spoke first. "Legolas, what has happened?"

"Aragorn." Gimli answered for Legolas. "He fell."

The dwarf looked solemnly at the dangerous water.

'There must be something I can do.' Thought Merlin.

However, Aragron was no where in sight and probably already been drowned by the rapids.

"No. He can't... how?" Arthur then through down his sword and yelled.

"There is nothing we can do. Arthur..." Theoden said to the prince. "We have a battle still to fight and I have injured men. We must go."

The prince looked up at the king and nodded. He would avenge him later.

* * *

Sarah ran towards the front of Helms Deep. Eowyn said that the men were returning and she really hoped that two of those men were her warlock and prince.

It was very difficult to move through the mass of horses and armor. She was almost afraid that she would get stepped on. Suddenly she spotted Gimli through the crowd and ran towards the dwarf.

"Did they make back? Are they alright?!" Sarah asked Gimli urgently.

Gimli looked down solemnly and Sarah almost had a heart attack.

'He's just worried about Aragorn! Please say he just say he worried about Aragorn! He fell off a cliff but he'll be fine! Oh God!'

"Sarah!" Merlin's voice interrupted her desperate thoughts.

The American turned and then ran to the wizard. It was her turn to smush them in hugs. Merlin had to spit several of Sarah's curls out of his mouth since her hair had flown into his face. Besides that he couldn't be happier.

"We're alright." Arthur said, dismounting from his horse behind Merlin. Sarah then hug attacked him to.

"However, we lost Aragorn." The prince said solemnly.

Sarah didn't quite know how to respond to this since she knew that Aragorn would be fine. She supposed that it wouldn't due to inform them that he was fine and would be back the next morning. Not that they would believe her. Best to pretend to be sad then. This was going to be like when Gandalf died. Although Aragorn wasn't getting bleached. He was just getting a nice bath through rapids.

She released Arthur and stepped back.

"That's a joke right?" she asked tentatively.

"I'm afraid not." Arthur said.

Sarah pretended to look sad and stunned. Theoden put a hand on her shoulder.

"He fought bravely." The king said to her although he moved on quickly. The king of Rohan did not really have the time to console her, not that she actually needed consoling.

"Right, uhhh. You guys must be hungry cause you've been fighting and stuff. Yea..." she trailed off. That was how she usually dealt with grief. Normally, she would try not to think about it and distract herself best as possible. Food was also nice. However, comfort food didn't really exist in middle earth. Once again though she didn't need comfort food since she knew Aragorn was fine. This not being able to tell people that other people were alive was getting annoying!

"That sounds like a good idea." Arthur said, in his princely being strong for other people voice.

Sarah smiled at him.

"I think Eowyn said the food was this way. Just be sure not to eat any of her stew though. I tried it at camp the other night. Let me tell you it is like eating expired yogurt! It is nasty." Sarah babbled.

The three then fought their way through the crowd of Rohirim.

* * *

"So, I know you have this whole plan with the bombs. Now, it would be a good idea to place one in the little drain thing and have and an Uruk fling himself at it with a torch to blow it up. However, I think we can have more style then that." Henry Iowa was walking slowly around the bomb that Saruman was pouring the last bit of black powder into it.

"What would you have me do instead?" asked Saruman.

"Well... Do we have catapults?" asked Henry.

"Catapults?" asked Saruman. "Yes, but it would be difficult to move them to Helms Deep. We cannot delay in our assault."

"Aren't you a wizard though? Can't you make them go faster? Or use a spell to make them lighter? Also aren't we carrying massive ladders to this party? Those make the journey more difficult. The bombs aren't exactly light." Iowa said quickly, spouting out ideas.

"Hm." Pondered the wizard. "Perhaps we can dismantle the catapults and have them reconstructed when the army arrives."

"That would work! I also have another suggestion. Why don't we put the explosives in the catapults. Then hurl them at the fortress! That way we can cause oodles of damage!" Henry said gleefully.

"How would they be lit from the air?" asked Saruman.

"By introducing something called a fuse." The Canadian laughed evilly.

"Let's also make this more interesting. Is there any way you can use your powers to disguise the catapults? That way the men of Rohan won't know what hit them." he smiled.

"Perhaps I can. Good work my friend." Saruman smiled back, very creepily.

The evil wizard and the Canadian then went and looked at their massive army.

* * *

**The next chapter will be updated soon, sooner if you review. :D**


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